


My King

by StarScreamLoki



Category: Loki - Fandom, Loki MCU, loki marvel
Genre: Dark, Dom Loki (Marvel), Dominant Loki, F/M, Gen, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Hurt/Comfort, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Loki Feels, Submission, Torture, Treason, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-05-17 15:52:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 41,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14835288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarScreamLoki/pseuds/StarScreamLoki
Summary: You were a very powerful Queen, whose husband was killed when Loki, invaded and attacked yours and his realm. In order to become king, Loki found a way to force you to marry him, and he was a terrible husband. You weren’t used to being ordered around or subjugated until you had no choice but to obey him and prevent things from getting worse. But your rebelliousness was starting to grow on Loki, so much he actually found himself very attracted to you as time went by. He actually started to court you, in his own, brusque and proud way. All this time, he hadn’t laid a finger on you, but after an awkward dinner served for the loveless king and queen, he showed up in your bedroom. Sat on your bed, gently caressed your arm until you woke up. You thought about playing along, thrusting a dagger into his heart when he least expected it. But you realized that all your hatred was slowly vanishing, the more he touched you. You ended up succumbing and having the most intense lovemaking session that only bonded the two of you for life.





	1. Invasion

**Author's Note:**

> **Warnings** : Dom!Loki, NSFW, predatory!Loki. Mentions of every horror that comes with war, battle, mischief, darkness and plain out malicious intent. No happy and fuzzy feelings, just raw darkness and a God who wants to rule the universe and will beat everyone in submission in order to get it!
> 
> As always, I’m not one to fully follow the rules of a given imagine - call me a rebel or mischievous, but such is my inspiration. And since I don’t like to write X reader, this story is also from the third person point of view. This story is dark, it is broody, it is evil, but it is sweet - and with that somewhat painful/heartbreaking - and loving as well. I’m hoping soon a plan will form to put in Frost Giant Loki as well, but be patient. Some chapters will probably be very NSFW, but for now I’m just focusing on the storyline.

“My queen, we need to go”, the guard said, his voice riddled with anxiety.

Alexis quickly looked back at her two frightened children who were screaming bloody murder because they were being ripped away from their mother. They wouldn’t understand now, but it was for their own safety. But it still broke Alexis’ heart and she was full aware she might never see them again. The guards took them away through a secret door that led out into a passageway from where they could escape and be safe. Life wouldn’t be easy on them, but at least they would live. And that wasn’t something a lot of other citizens got to say after this day.

The enemy had arrived this morning, nobody knew from where and how, but they hadn't wasted time to assault the kingdom. Within mere hours the enemy had overtaken the surrounding land, killed those who didn’t want to submit to their reign, and as the night fell, they came knocking at the castle's gates.

Their force had been mighty and a lot of good warriors had died while defending the gates. But eventually it had been breached, the enemy pouring into the courtyard and leaving nothing but death in their wake. 

The king, her beloved husband, had gone out with his personal guard to defend his queen and their children, so they might slip away. Alexis knew in her heart that this action had been a sacrifice on his behalf to keep them alive, and she would never see him again. But she didn’t had time to mourn. There would be a time and place for everything, and this wasn’t it. So she buried her feelings, lifted her chin, and did what needed to be done.

Surrounded by her guards, swords at ready including herself, Alexis nodded to the one guard who stood by the door and he carefully opened the door so he could see if they could get out of the room. But the moment the door opened the enemy barraged in, numerous and vicious, killing everyone who dared to take a stand. Her personal guards were killed before Alexis realised it and she found herself surrounded. She raised her sword and slashed at the enemy. She wasn't a particularly good fighter, but not a bad one either. She hit one or two but the enemy had numbers on their side while she was alone, and soon all she could do was defend to keep herself alive. More and more blows struck home and soon she was bleeding in various places. Most cuts were shallow, nothing to worry about, but one in her side bit vicious and made her lose focus. 

Before she knew it Alexis was on her knees and at the mercy of her enemy. She would soon be united with her king, but a dark pit formed in her stomach as she thought of her children. The love for her children spurred her on, and she put herself on her feet again and determinedly fought on. But to no avail, and soon she was on her knees again.

A long sword was put up high above her head and she could only imagine what would follow suit. She squeezed her eyes shut and let out a scream in terror, but the blow never came.

Slowly she opened her eyes, just in time to see him walking in. A long black and green coat, adorned with gold, was clad around the man who entered the room. His armour was also made of gold albeit it had lost some of its shine due to the battle, leaving it with a dull shine. On his head he wore a golden helmet with magnificent horns, raven black hair flowed out underneath it and from underneath the brow of the helmet two piercing blue eyes bored into Alexis. His strides were full of dignity and arrogance. He was surrounded by with what seemed like his personal guard and protectively they hovered around him. But Alexis was pretty sure he didn't need the protection from his guards for the look on his face showed that he was perfectly capable of protecting himself.

 

Only now, down on her knees, drained of the will to fight, did Alexis get a chance to look at their enemies. They walked hunched forward, sometimes on all fours or sometimes on their hind legs. They were fully clad in black and silver armour that was scratched and battered from the fight. Their skin was a sickly grey, almost white, color and stood in stark contrast to that of their leader who had an albast colored skin. 

The creatures sprouted pointy ears from slits in the sides of their helmets, also something their leader didn’t have, for his ears were humanoid. 

But the most mortifying part of these creatures were their teeth. Each and every single one of them was pointy, sharp as daggers, and dripping with blood, a feral grimace constantly on their faces, making the contrast between them and the man in gold who had just walked in, even greater.

 

A voice pierced through Alexis contemplation and she looked up at the man who spoke to her.

“So, you ought to be the fair maiden who is putting up a futile fight”, he said grinning without mirth, eyes still boring into hers.

Alexis shuddered for those eyes held nothing but malicious intent. “I am not some maiden, I am Alexis, Queen of Nara”, she said proudly and defiant.

“Oh! That does indeed make a difference”, the man chuckled, a wicked smile spread across his face. 

“Indeed it does”, Alexis said while she tried to rise, but two ferm hands placed on her shoulders put her back to her knees again. She gritted her teeth. “And who may you be?” she asked boldly, knowing fully that her blunt words just might set him off and be the last she’d ever speak.

He laughed at her boldness and the smile on his lips turned from a grin to a smile of sickly interest. “I am Loki”.

Alexis waited for more words to come but he apparently left it with that. “Well, Loki, if you are intended to take my life, I would ask you to do so. I don't like to be kept waiting”, she said while still boldly meeting his eyes. 

“Oh little queen, if it only would be that easy!”, Loki sighed somewhat exhausted. “No, I have far greater things to carry out with, and for you, and death would be the easy way out”. Alexis shuddered at the words and at what they implied, but she kept her pride and never broke eye contact with Loki.

His gaze locked on hers and a silent moment of matching wills was fought in their stares. Then the wicked smile came back to Loki's lips. Without breaking eye contact with her he coldly said, “bring them in”. 

 

Alexis heard the screaming first, the raw sound of terror that escaped her children's lungs, before she saw them getting dragged in by their hair, twisting and turning to be released. Tears sprang to her eyes and she tried to fight of her captivators while she screamed as well. “Let them go! They have done nothing wrong!” she screamed at Loki, taken by nothing but sheer anger. Still she struggled to get free, to take her children into her arms, but to no avail. An iron grip from both of her captivators held her firmly in place.

Alexis stopped struggling because she knew it was futile, and she could better save her energy, although she didn’t knew for what. Tears streamed down her face as her children tried to get to her, a terror in their eyes, but also a solemn plea to their mother to save them and release them from this nightmare. Alexis couldn’t and it broke her heart. 

Just when she thought things couldn't get worse, two more enemies walked in, dragging alexis’ husband after them. A dark pit formed in her stomach at the sight. He was covered in blood and barely conscious, just on the brink of death. If her king hadn’t been able to protect her children, than how would she ever? She wasn’t a warrior or soldier. She wasn’t trained for these kind of situations, so what could she do? But then a fleeting memory crossed her mind, of a mother-bear protecting her offspring. Alexis had never seen anything so terrifying in her life, she had seen the full power of the mother-bear while it had ripped through some unfortunate soldiers, but she had also seen the protectiveness with which the mother-bear had protected her cubs. And that protectiveness, that raw power of love, now washed over her and coursed through her veins.

Loki walked to her children and went to stand behind them. “Now I've got your attention…” he said with a vicious voice. Alexis’ youngest started to whimper as Loki stood behind him and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Don't hurt him”, Alexis pleaded. The sheer power of the protectiveness she felt for her children almost burned her veins. “I'll do anything, whatever you say, but please, don't hurt my children.”

“Anything?” Loki said amused. 

“Anything!” 

Loki stepped away from her youngest and slowly walked through the room, taking in the sights. “Anything…” Loki said tasting the word on his tongue and taking in the meaning of it. Then he suddenly turned and with a few quick strides he was behind her, grabbed her hair and yanked her head back, leaving her neck bare. Alexis’ breath caught in her throat and she shivered out of pure terror. When Loki spoke, his breath hot in her ear, a chill went down her spine. “Anything you said... Execute your husband!”, Loki commanded while he viciously shoved her head forward while releasing her hair. 

Her husband was dragged in front of her and she could see something in his eyes. It took her a moment to catch on to what she saw there. It wasn't fear nor anger, nor was it sadness or pain - it was sheer acceptance of the situation. Her husband knew he wouldn't live much longer and he had fully accepted that, almost embraced it. Tears welled in Alexis’ eyes again and she started to whimper. “No, no. I can't”, she begged. 

Loki circled her until he was in front of her. “You pledged to ‘anything’. Well, this is my command. Fail to heed it and your children will die”, Loki said while bending forward so their faced were leveled. “The choice is yours, little queen”.

At that point Alexis had enough, and rage overtook her ability to think, and she slapped Loki across the the face. Alexis was shocked by her own action and now feared for the wrath Loki would probably bestow upon her. But instead of getting angry, Loki only looked amused. Alexis felt like she was being played with, a game she didn’t understand but was very much a part of. 

Loki leaned back and snapped his fingers. Alexis was being hoisted up by her captivators and a sword was put in her hand. Loki turned his back to her and pointed at her husband. “Kill him!” he coldly said. 

Alexis looked at her husband who mumbled. At first she couldn’t understand what he said but then she caught on. He was saying she should do it. It was a miracle he was able to get the words out being in his battered state, almost near to death. “Do it, my love”, her husband almost begged, blood dripping over his chin while he spoke the words.

She looked into his eyes, then to her terrified children, back to him. She wanted to cry, to scream, to give up, but mostly cry, but tears would come no more. She lifted the sword and Loki watched over his shoulder, his back still to her, thrilled with anticipation.

With a scream she slashed the sword down. But instead of killing her husband, she tried to kill Loki. As soon as the sword made contact with him, the illusion broke and Alexis hit nothing but air. With an astonished look on her face she tried to turn around, but hands of iron gripped her shoulders, making her drop the sword, and dragged her backwards and pushed her to her knees. 

She couldn't see Loki, and she figured he stood behind her and that he was the one who was keeping her on her knees. Once more a cold chill went down her spine as he whispered into her ear. “You failed me, little queen. Now watch as your horrible decisions unfold in front of your eyes.”

Loki moved away from her, used his seidr to summon a crude knife and killed her husband with a stab to his heart. Her children screamed but she could not hear them over her own wail. Loki stepped away from her husband, the knife still protruding from his chest. Her husband grabbed the hilt of the knife, astonishment in his eyes, and when he did, the hilt of the blade started to glow green. With his seidr Loki twisted the knife slowly around in the king's chest and Alexis watched as her husband twitched in agony. Loki slowly retracted the blade from the king’s chest with his seidr and her husband slumped to the floor. Loki bend to retrieve the knife, the blood dripping from it, as he walked to her children.

That was the point Alexis lost all control and screamed. She screamed so loud her throat burned and the pain resonated in lungs. She was stricken with the terror of the fate for her children and she tasted blood in her mouth, brought up from her throat. She screamed and tried with all her might to free herself.

Loki placed himself behind her children and watched as she trashed in the claws of her captivaters. “Action. Reaction”, Loki said coldly. And with that he dismissed the blade to quick for Alexis to see, grabbed both children in their necks, hauled them half on their feet, and dragged them out of the room himself while laughing an evil laughter.

 

***

 

Loki heard her screams as he walked out of the room, dragging the children behind him who trashed and clawed at him to be released. They spat names at him, but he heard naught and neither did he care. With a solemn look he marched down the hall of the castle to the throne room.

When the doors fell shut behind him, he released the children who fell to their knees.

“Behave, little ones, and no harm will befall you”, he commanded them. 

Truth was, Loki never intended to kill them. He held no love for children, but he didn't hate them either. He actually never had given it a proper thought, for a partner was one thing he didn't had. And thus such questions remained unanswered, let alone he had time for it or wanted to make time for it.

He walked to the throne and sat down, looking at the children who scrambled back to their feet. One of the two spoke to him, but Loki didn't hear for he was lost in his own thoughts, riding some unpleasant, albeit minor, memories of him and his father.

_ He wouldn't hurt the children _ \-- Because it was not their fault but that of their parents. Loki himself knew enough about the pain a parent could inflict upon its children, intentionally or not. Loki gritted his teeth as he was swept back into the memory where he discovered his true parentage, and pain fluttered through his heart. 

_ No, he wouldn't harm them _ \-- But the numbing pain still coursing through his heart at the thought of his true parentage, made the blood in his veins run cold and hot at the same time. Not a thousand years and a thousand more, could diminish the stinging pain that still burned his very soul about this subject. The lie he had been fed his entire life. Nothing or no-one could ever make up for it or make it right, and sometimes he’d just wished Odin had left him out there on the froze rock to die.

_ He wouldn’t kill the children-- _

On the other hand--

Maybe just for their sake it would be so much more merciful if he  _ would _ to take their lives!


	2. Mercy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In contrast to the previous chapter (and the next as I might spoil), this chapter is somewhat more happy. Still, do not let yourself get fooled by my words because we are still dealing with a God of mischief who wants to rule the realm called Nara.

As Loki exited the room, Alexis was released by her captivators and crawled to her husband's body. Tears, which she thought she had no more, flowed down her face. Her throat aced and burned with the intensity of a thousand suns, but she cared not.

She had lost her husband and her children were probably dead by now, fallen to the hands of a brutal murderer carrying the name Loki. Her kingdom was taken from her and she had nothing left to live for.

The tears stopped flowing and the salt clung to her cheeks, making her skin feel crispy. What did she had left to live for? Everything was taken from her so why should she stay?  _ Because you are strong and you aren't going to let that rotten idiot take your throne?  _ Came the answer from her own thoughts. She mused over that but as she looked into her heart, she knew the throne didn't mean anything to her without her family. It was not what she wanted.  _ Than revenge perhaps?  _ The thought lodged itself in her brain and she couldn't deny that revenge was maybe the answer. It tasted sweet and maybe it would still her rage and pain. And after that? What would she do after she had taken revenge?  _ Then what else is left but the sweet bliss of death?  _ Her thoughts answered her.

Alexis shook her head. Revenge didn't matter when you had nothing left to fight or live for. It didn’t matter if you hadn’t someone to share it with and relish in it. She didn't want it. She just wanted to be with her children and husband, nothing more, nothing less, whether it be alive or dead.

Alexis grabbed the sword that lay next to her husband, the one Loki had given her to kill her husband with, a solid reminder of her own failure. She wouldn't fail this time and she put the tip of the blade to her chest, right where her heart was.  _ Are you sure? _ Came the voice in her mind.

_ I am! _

With a sigh, but a content feeling, a feeling of acceptance, she plunged the sword into her chest. A burning pain exploded in her chest and her lungs filled with blood. The pain marched through her nerves and then the pain suddenly stopped, her body shaking. Darkness crept in from the sides of her eyes. She felt her body fall to the floor just before the darkness fully engulfed her.

 

***

 

Loki sat on the throne in the throne room as he watched the children pant heavily. When he had dragged them in the room, and had sat down on the throne, they had started a tantrum. Loki figured they just needed to vent frustration so he gave them both weapons and with his seidr he had multiplied himself a numerous of times and had ordered them to attack him.

The children had been unsure at first but then sheer rage had overtaken them and they vigorously had attacked all of Loki’s illusions. They could never win, but it did feel good to let out the build up anger and sadness. Every Time an illusion fell to the strike of their weapons, another appeared somewhere else, making it impossible to ever finish them all off.

In the meantime Loki’s army had rounded up the castle and its people, picking up survivors, putting an end to those near death, and killing the ones who were still rebellious enough to fight and rather died than lived in submission. While the children had ‘played’ with his illusions, Loki had let the survivors line up, made them pledge their loyalty to him, and, if they didn’t, sentenced them to immediate death. Of course the children never saw this happen, nor were they aware of the events, for they were trapped in an illusion of a different sort. But in reality the throne room was gushing red with blood of those who had defied Loki, not wanting to pledge their loyalty, and bodies were being dragged out. Those who had pledged their loyalty had been put back to their old jobs and worked like nothing had ever happened. Soon the normal way of life in the castle would be fully up and running again, except for a new king on the throne.

Loki’s focus went back to the children. Eventually they had grown tired of fighting the illusions, and now they were sitting on the floor, cross legged, in front of Loki who watched them with a raised eyebrow. “Had enough?” Loki just asked with a little bit of tiredness in his voice. The children nodded in unison. He let out a pleased hum.

“Why are you doing this?” the oldest, a son, asked him.

With a puzzled look Loki scrutinized the child who whimpered under his glare. “Doing what?” he slowly asked.

“Killing my father and my mother. Take over the kingdom, wage war? Why did you do that?” he asked with tears in his eyes.

Loki’s eyes narrowed and the child shifted uncomfortably. “I did not take your mothers life, she is unharmed and well,” he stated a matter of factly. “As for the wage of war…” Loki mused about that. His reason to wage war on this planet was not one he wanted to share with the children, so he just did it off with a short, cruel answer. “Because that is what happens in life.”

The children were silent at first but then, all of a sudden, both of them started to speak at the same time. Soon their speaking was a ramble of words but Loki tuned out and thought back about the events of the past days.

 

When Thor decided to live on earth, and Loki had taken the throne of Asgard, he had been content with the way things had come to pass. He was on the throne of Asgard, rightfully so, and with a strong illusion he had send Odin to Midgard to sit out his time there. Loki thought of it as some form of banishment for the hurt and torture Odin had concocted on him. No, Loki wouldn’t soon forget his time in the dungeon nor forgive easily on the subject, let alone all the lies Odin had told him.

At first everything had been wonderful - even though he had to keep up the illusion of him being Odin - and he loved ruling. People had jumped and scrambled at his every command, and for once nobody had contradicted him, as most of them had done so many years when he was a prince. They had grovelled at his feet when they needed something and Loki had relished in it, loving every moment, savouring the feeling of power it gave him. He had put out orders to build new statues - mostly of himself in order to honor the fallen son, as Loki in Odin’s illusion would put it. He made sure the gardens everywhere flourished and art in itself was celebrated and looked after in every place in Asgard. Loki had done everything to make Asgard an image of what he always had imagined it should be. Beautiful, prosperous but utterly deadly underneath the surface.

But after a couple of months, ruling Asgard had lost its shine, and Loki was often bored. There was only so much one could do to keep himself entertained when nobody contradicted him, not able to scorn or terrorize anyone. Something in his gut had screamed out for an adventure, for a fight, anything, as long as he could get away from the boring routine that had befallen him.

On one particular day he had snatched the Tesseract from the vault and brought it to his chambers. He had prodded at it using his seidr and he had found a realm that had caught his interest right away. A wicked smile had crossed his face and he had not wasted any time in preparing, the sweet allure of adventure, blood and mischief calling to him. He had made a fake version of the Tesseract, and while he was at it, from the Casket of Ancient Winters as well. If he was going to use the Tesseract, he might as well take the Casket, just in case. He wasn’t sure what he’d do with it, but it would probably could serve him some time.

Then he had brought Odin back to Asgard. Loki had prodded around in Odin’s memory and had altered them with his own memories of ruling Asgard so Odin would think it had been him ruling all the time. Loki had been very careful to plant his own - and with that  the right - memories into Odin, because one slip up could mean Odin figured the trick out, and that would result in another thousand year in the dungeon. Loki still shuttered at the thought alone, it was something he wanted to avoid at almost any cost.

After Loki had put all the mechanics in place, he had opened a passage between Asgard and the realm he was aiming for, and off he was, ready to spread chaos on the realm of his choosing. Eventually he would rise on top, and with that position, he would have an army with which he could conquer many more realms.

Victory would be glorious, so sweet, and as he stepped into the other realm--

 

Roughly Loki was pulled out of his memory as one of his advisers whispered into his ear. Loki had been so deep in thought he almost jumped out of his boots at the unexpected interruption, but he didn’t show it and, with a swift reflex, his arm shot out and grabbed the man by the throat, never batting an eye or moving in any other way.

Loki pulled the man close to his face, a snarl on his lips, fire burning in his blue eyes. “Repeat that again”, he commanded. Squirming, and with Loki almost crushing his windpipe, the man repeated his message as best as he could. Loki released the man at once, dropping him unceremoniously to the ground, and with a flick of his wrist and the use of his seidr, Loki vanished from the throne room.

The children, who were still sitting at the dais of the throne, bickering, fell silent and just blankly stared at the throne.

 

***

 

When Loki arrived at the scene he could only imagine what had went through Alexis’ head for her to act upon such a rush action.

She was half draped over her husband, sword still in her chest, blood pouring from the wound and staining her dress. Loki could see the light in her eyes fading quickly and she would be dead soon. 

Loki hesitated for a second.  _ Should he save her? _ It was her own decision after all. But then again, she probably wanted to rob her own life because she thought both her husband and children were dead, which wasn’t the case, but she didn’t know that.  _ On the other hand, collateral damage happened when one waged war-- _ Loki cut of the thought. She didn’t deserve this, this was ultimately his doing and he knew he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he let her die. He would never hear the end of it while his mind would torture him on the matter, and the children would hate him. He’d had to raise them or put them to death, and neither option was very appealing when you were trying to conquer the universe. On top of that, he wasn’t a monster.  _ Well-- _ Loki pushed the thought away before it could take hold of his brain.

Loki kneeled down at Alexis’ side and carefully pulled the sword out of her chest. He had little time before she would bleed out entirely. Quickly he called on his seidr and wove a healing spell around the wound, his fingertips glowing a soft yellow as he did. The wound started to close and the blood flowing from it, stemmed. Soon she would be breathing and alive again, although it would take some time for her to wake up and get back from the shadows.

With a snap of his fingers Loki summoned one of the maids, her puzzlement readable from her face due to the quick transport. One moment she had been walking in the hallways and now she stood next to the new king, in a room full of blood... and an unconscious queen… and the previous king slain on the floor… The maid felt her stomach turn.

“Appoint me to a room with a bed”, Loki barked at her, snapping her out of her reverie. Glad for the distraction from the horrible sight, and carefully picking her way across the room, she started for the door.

Loki lifted Alexis up in his arms and followed the maid. The maid was quick to catch on to Loki’s intentions and she made sure the queen would awake in one of her own chambers, guiding Loki to the royal wing of the castle.

Once arrived in such chamber, Loki placed Alexis carefully on the bed. “See to her needs when she wakes. And have the other maids clean up the room we just got from”, Loki commanded the maid.

“Yes, your highness. What of--”, the maid choked. “What of--”, try as she might, the words just stuck in her throat under the scrutinizing glare Loki gave her.

“What of what?” Loki asked impatiently while darkly looking at her. “SPEAK”, he shouted when the maid didn’t answer.

The words tumbled out of her mouth, riddled with fright from the possible scorn from her new king. “What of the body of the old king?”

“I’ll send my captain to look after that”, Loki said casually. He turned around to walk away but seemed to change his mind, and he turned back to the maid. “When dusk falls, you are to report to me in the throne room. Don’t be late”, he ordered her and shivers ran down her spine as she looked at the predatory hunger that lingered in Loki’s eyes. A small, mischievous smile formed on Loki’s lips and he let out a sudden snarl, startling her. He laughed malicious and with a snap of his fingers, and the use of his seidr, he vanished from the room, leaving the maid in sheer terror of what the night might bring for her at the hands of this new and vicious king.


	3. Obedience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little bit longer than the previous two and the next ones will be too. I had a lot of plot to cover in these chapters, and I did want to take the time and words to properly tell the story. (I’m not sorry.) Also, this chapter is a little NSFW. I tried to keep things classy, and there is not a lot of smut, but dom!loki is very prominent in this chapter. For those of you who long for a more sweet Loki, just keep reading ;-)

Loki furiously paced through the throne room, hands on his back, head down, a scowl on his face.

Stupid realm, stupid Nara, stupid laws, stupid rules! In order to become king he had to be of royal blood of Nara, or tie himself to the ruling king or queen. The fact that he just had taken over the entire kingdom, in Hela’s name, the entire realm, wasn’t enough to make him the rightful ruler. The denizens of the realm would not listen to him, or heed his call, unless he followed the rules and laws of their realm, and Loki couldn’t possibly just beat every single one of them into submission, or kill them all for not pledging loyalty to him. There wouldn’t be a single person left! And dead people didn’t make for good entertainment or servants.

He thought back at the previous night, and a predatory smile formed on his lips as he thought of the trembling maid which had stood at the dais of his throne. She hadn’t known what to expect and when Loki had ordered all the guards out of the room, she had been trembling with fear. Oh, how he relished in that, how he loved the power he could hold over someone, make them do anything he wanted. He bit his lip at the thought of it alone, setting a fire in his stomach which coursed hot through his veins.

The maid had done everything he had commanded her to do, right then and there, as long as she scrambled around and became very aware of who was in charge. Eventually Loki had had enough of toying around with her, had grabbed her by the hairs and dragged her to his room which adjoined the room of queen Alexis. 

The maid had screamed, first in terror, later that evening out of pure pleasure. He’d made at least one person on this realm call him ‘king’ and actually mean it.

He snapped out of his reverie and took a few deep breaths to steady himself, pushing the burning desire back in a dark corner in his mind. There was a time and place for everything, now wasn’t it. He first had to secure his position in this realm afore he could permit such luxury again.  _ Well-- it wouldn’t have to be fully functioning yet, as long as things would be set into motion _ .

 

***

 

Alexis opened her eyes, but when everything came into focus, she wasn’t at the place she expected to be.

She had taken her own live, was this what afterlife looked like, what it felt like? She felt a soft mattress underneath her, and she saw the white lace curtain above her head, dropping down and around the bed made of dark timber.

The sheets felt cool and soft, made of white silk adorned with dark stitched patterns of mythical creatures to match the dark timbre. Then it suddenly hit her and she jolted up. She was in her own bedroom! She looked down at her chest and placed a hand over her heart. She was quite sure she had jammed a sword through it, than why was she able to feel her heartbeat? Why didn’t she feel any pain at all? Slightly panicking she jumped out of bed. Had everything been a bad dream? Just a nightmare? Maybe it had been! Maybe her husband and children weren’t dead, no invasion... No Loki!

Quickly she put on a negligee to hide some more of her bare skin, and walked to the door. She twisted the knob and tried to pull the door open, but it wouldn’t give. Confused she stared at the knob and the door and tried it again. It wouldn’t open. She had been locked in her chambers!

The other door, leading to the adjoining room which used to be the private room of her husband, opened, and a maid came walking in with a tray of food, followed by a maid who carried several bars of soap and sponges of different kinds. Alexis sprinted for the door, but she was to late, and with a click that door locked as well. She banged on it and screamed, demanded, to be let out, all the while the maids just patiently waited.

Eventually Alexis understood that her tantrum was futile, and not very queen-alike, and she composed herself and sat down on the couch. She beckoned the maid with the food tray and picked some berries from it.

“How long have I been out?” she asked the maid.

“Since midnight until morning, my queen”, the maid said while dipping in a court bow.

“And what has happened in the meantime?”, she asked and popped another berry in her mouth.

“Well, king Loki--”

“HE IS NOT A KING!”, Alexis interrupted and screamed at the maid. She had no clue where that sudden anger came from, normally she was a very calm and loving person, especially to her maids who worked so hard for her. But something in the tone with which the maid had said it ticked Alexis off.

“I’m sorry, my queen. So terribly sorry. It will not happen again”, the maid apologized.

Alexis made a gesture with her hand, “please continue.”

“Well, Loki…”, the maid put a short stop there to make sure she was using the right words. When the queen didn’t lash out in any way, she continued, “...has saved you from the brink of death my queen. When he summoned me, you were unconscious but otherwise fine. He has brought you here so you could rest and gain your strength again.”

Alexis raised an eyebrow. Why would Loki save her? What had she ever done that she deserved that! Or, even a much heavier question, didn’t he want her dead? Wasn’t his intention to ruin her entire life? She chewed on another grape while musing over it, trying to pinpoint this strange action of this vicious man.  _ Well, vicious-- had he been vicious he would’ve let you die--  _ But on the other hand he had killed her children, so vicious seemed like the right description.  _ You’ve never SEEN him kill your children. Is it true? _ Alexis thoughts seemed to play a mean game, contradiction her every rational thought and making her head fuzzy. She needed to clear her head!

Alexis got up from the couch and walked to luxurious bathing area that adjoined on the other side of the chamber. The maid with the soaps and sponges followed suit without command.

Alexis looked in the mirror and was shocked by what reflected back to her. Her half-long white hair was an entangled mess on top of her head. Her eyes were bloodshot and deep lines ran on her face. A thin powder of dust caked on her cheeks, traces of her tears visible, leaving a complex pattern on her face. As she slipped out of her niglee, she saw her dress was covered in blood, a partially big stain right where her heart is.

As the maid ran the water for the bath and added different soaps and scents to the water, Alexis took of her dress. She stared at her chest, a small, but angry red scar was the only thing left visible from her attempted suicide. Why had he done that? Why had Loki chosen to heal her, to save her? Her head started to spin again at the thought and she pushed it away.

She slipped into the warm bath and felt her knotted muscles relax. It was weird how comfortable she felt considering the constant threat that lingering around her. Even considering the recent events. But had Loki wanted her dead, he wouldn’t have saved her. He wouldn’t have send maids to bring her food and soaps for a bath. He could’ve thrown her in the dungeons and yet he hadn’t. So what was it he wanted? Why go through all this trouble? What was he up to?

 

***

 

“Stop lingering around the point and spill what you want to say!” Loki commanded the librarian.

“The only way you can become king is to marry her. There is no other way”, the old man sighed.

Loki had fetched some servants in order to find the castle’s librarian and making him try to find a way out of the stupid rules of this realm. But no matter how angry Loki got, whatever he said or did, nothing would change the fact that there was only one way he could obtain the title of king.

He was angry, very angry! Actually he was very close to leaving this realm, was it not for he needed something from it, buried deep beneath the very earth. And in order to get that, he had to be king, fully by the laws and rules of Nara. 

“Leave. All of you. NOW!” he barked and his guards and the librarian quickly scrambled out of the throne room. Again Loki found himself pacing in this very room and he figured he needed some fresh air. With his seidr he opened the door which let out to the balcony, giving a wonderful sight across the courtyard, the surrounding village, and the green kingdom beyond. On the other side of the castle was a beautiful lake. He couldn’t see it now, but he knew it was there.

His army had made camp on one of the endless fields that surrounded the kingdom, a black and ominous splotch that made a stark contrast to all the lustrous green.

 

When Loki had stepped through the portal to the other realm, Tesseract and Casket of Ancient Winters within his grasp for whenever he would need them, he had had an easy and quick ride in taking over the realm from which his current army came.

The realm had been so easy to take over, for its rules were simple: there were no rules, only the laws of chaos. The realm belonged to the Kha’os Alvish, also known as the Chaos Elves, and chaos was something that Loki fully understood. The one who was either the strongest or the smartest would be the one who ruled its denizens, and with no magic at their fingertips, the denizens had been easily fooled. Most of the Kha’os Alvish weren’t smart either, just your average Midgardian, forever dancing and trying to grasp at power without truly understanding it, and, of course, never reaching it. Some were even outright animalistic.

The ones that were smarter, were the ones that Loki had overthrown. A simple use of Seidr here, the right stolen memories there, a few words from his Silver tongue, and they were all over each other while Loki seized the throne and killed the ones who would dare to stand in his way. It had been mere hours and Loki had actually been very surprised by how quick and easy this realm had been for the taking. The last realm he had tried to own-- flashes of The Hulk--  _ No, no! _ He wouldn’t let his mind wonder back to that very painful moment.

A couple of hours after claiming the realm of Kha’os, Loki had put out a challenge. Every Kha’os Alvish who wanted it, could challenge him in order to get his position. If one failed, it would be put to death. If no challengers were left, Loki would be the legemit ruler of Kha’os and the Kha’os Alvish would answer to him, no questions asked, no objections. And so it came to pass that only a couple of Kha’os Alvish challenged him and afterwards were being put to death at Loki’s own hands.

As said before, the creatures, because that’s what they were, weren’t very smart, so they easily followed Loki’s every command. But ruling a realm of Kha’os Alvish wasn’t really fun, because mindless beasts could be found anywhere and he wanted something that could keep him occupied, keep his brain churning, challenge him so he wouldn’t fall into boredom again.

And thus, with the help of the Tesseract, he had found Nara and the secrets that lies beneath its surface. Something he desperately wanted to still a certain feeling that tugged at his heart.

 

***

 

Alexis stepped out of the bath and felt much better. The blood no longer clinged to her, dust left behind in the now cold water, and her white hair had been washed, combed and oiled, and almost glowed silver now.

The bloody dress had been taken away by the maids, probably burned somewhere, which was a shame because she quite liked that dress, and a new dress had been laid out for her.

With some help of the maids she had put it on and now she stood in front of the mirror, staring into her own grey eyes. Yesterday her eyes had been blue, not as blue as Loki’s, but just a little bit more blue to the grey. But now that everything had been taken away from her, the color had left her eyes, leaving them grey. That always seemed to happen. The color of her eyes would betray how she felt; grey whenever she was having negative feelings, and more blue when the feeling were positive.

But there was one thing that had always stayed the same in her eyes, but was no longer present now. It was in her pupils. Normally they would glisten with lives joy, with a fire to achieve whatever she wanted, a shine that made any person look alive, but it was gone now, and her pupils were a dull black. She wasn’t sure they would ever get their shine back.

 

A door unlocking made Alexis pull away from the mirror. It was the door leading to her husband's private chambers. Well... Not his chambers anymore but Loki’s chambers, she had learned from the maids.

The door opened and Loki walked in. He still wore black and green clothing adorned with gold, but he wore no armour or horned helmet. For a moment Alexis liked him, but it was fleeting as her brain raked up the events from yesterday, and the hate was back.

With a soft click the door fell into the lock, trapping Alexis with her tormentor in her chamber. “What do you want?” she asked hoarse.

Loki looked around the room, for the first time able to see it in normal light and not with somebody just saved from the brink of death in his arms. Loki walked to the couch and casually sat down, he licked his lips.

Suddenly Alexis felt very uncomfortable under his glare and crossed her arms in front of her chest, tapping her foot while impatiently waiting for an answer. Loki motioned to a soft chair across the couch. She cringed her nose, she didn’t want to sit down and have a ‘normal’ conversation with this man.

Then Loki spoke, his voice deep and threatening, “do not make me get up and put you there. Sit!”

Taken aback by his somewhat strange threat, Alexis did as she was told. “Why did you save me?” she stammered while looking at the ground.

Loki’s demeanor was very calm, and when he spoke, the earlier threat had left his voice. “I already told you yesterday. Death is the easy way out, and I’ve got bigger plans for you than death.”

The answer was so simple, yet so terrifying, Alexis shuddered. “I ask you again, what do you want from me?”

“It’s not what I directly want from you, but more what I require. I want to be the rightful king of Nara, and there is only one way to establish that.”

It took a few moments before Alexis’ brain caught up with the ramifications of that statement and her head jerked up, fire in her eyes. “Never!” she hissed. “If you for one moment think I would marry you, than you are insane. You murdered my husband, killed my children. You are a monster, and I would rather die than marry a monster!”

For a short second she saw Loki cringe at the word ‘monster’, but she wasn’t sure and it could have been a flick of her imagination. 

Slowly Loki got up from the couch and stood in front of her, hovering over her in his menacing way. “You might be right, little queen, I am, and can be a monster. But there is no need for that if you would just simply heed my commands.” He viciously grabbed her white hair and yanked her head back so she had to look him in the eye. “I might be the murderer of your husband, but your children are an entirely different story. Death is the easy way out”, he spat the words at her, a scowl on his face. He bared his teeth and with a snarl he pushed her head down, keeping his hand on the back of her head so she couldn’t look up.

In that moment Loki wanted to do a thousand unspeakable things to this queen, but he could not for he had a plan, and he had to stick to it. Failing would lead to going back to the boredom of Asgard, or worse, it’s dungeons, so he pushed back the fire that was setting his veins alight, and he sticked to the plan.

With a snap of his fingers the door opened and people walked into the room. Alexis could not see them, her head still pushed down by Loki. Then she heard two familiar voices, and her heart shattered and mended at the same time, a sensation she didn’t know that existed, let alone, was possible.

Loki knelt next to her, still pushing her head down and whispered into her ear. “Yesterday I gave you a choice and you made the wrong decision. Today I give you a second chance, and you’d better choose wisely, for there won’t be a third.” The coldness, the lack of empathy and feeling with which Loki spoke those words in hear ear, made her heart drop. She heard her children whimper. “What will you do if I decline?” she asked as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Loki barked a laugh. “I start by locking you and your children in the dungeon, not letting you die but keeping you on the brink of death, wishing you were dead. And from there... Well, we’ll see what horrible tortures I can concoct on you and your children until you obey me and indulge me with what I want.”

Alexis started to sob. “Fine, I’ll do it. I’ll do it, but please, don’t take my children away from me again”, she pleaded. “Don’t hurt them.”

Loki let go of her head and with a snap of his fingers the children were released and they ran into her arms. Tears flowed as she and her children hugged. Alexis looked up at Loki and to her surprise saw something on his face that struck her as very odd. Just moments before he had threatened her with something worse than death, and now he looked at her and her children with something that looked like jealousy, compassion and... hurt? 

As soon as Loki caught her looking at him, the snarl was back on his face. He used his seidr and flicked away from the room.

 

***

 

In the room adjoining that of Alexis, his room, Loki leaned against the wall.  _ You’re a monster _ , the words lingered in his head. He gritted his teeth and with the use of his seidr casted a silence spell in the room.

Anger rose inside him and started to gnaw at his heart. He wasn’t angry at Alexis, or at her defying act, but at himself. He had, in a moment of weakness, allowed to let her see some of himself.

_ Weak. You are weak, _ a vicious voice in his head.

But the words she had spoken stung him deeply. He wondered if he could ever run away from his past, but he very well knew the answer to that.

The anger inside him turned to rage and with that a tidal wave of hate overtook him. Hate against this realm. Hate against his parents, all of them. Hate against Thor. Hate against Midgard and the tormentor who had put the sceptre in his hands that couple of years ago. But mostly, hate against himself. The hate and rage had build up to a all consuming crescendo and then Loki screamed. He screamed his heart out for all the hurt and pain that had been bestowed upon him through the years.

_ Weak! _

And now he was hurting others so he could get what he wanted. There always would be casualties, but he wasn’t sure he liked to play the role of tormentor. His mind was ever at war, for he liked to have power, to make people grovel. But on the other hand it hurted him so much what he just did to the queen. 

He had to play this part in order to get what he wanted, but he feared that game just might rip him apart.

He didn’t want to be a monster, he wasn’t a monster.  _ Well-- _ his mind interjected. Loki growled vicious at the thought.  _ I am not! _ He thought back.  _ I am not! I am not! Iamnot! IAMNOT! _

A tear formed in his eye and he slumped to the floor. Torturing her, in any way, would ultimately torture him too and he wasn’t sure if he could keep doing that. No matter what was at stake.  _ Weak... _

Was it worth it? Was it worth her pain? His pain?

_ It is-- _ came the unbidden answer.


	4. Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter might be a bit of a painful one, but it was necessary. There needs to be a balance between the Monster and the Man.

It had been two days ago that Alexis had obliged to marry Loki. It also been had two days since she had seen her children, because after their short reunion, and thus coming to learn her children were still alive, they had been taken from her again.

Alexis hadn’t been able to leave her chambers, for the door leading to the hallway was locked, and the door to Loki’s chambers only opened when the maids entered to bring her food or anything else she requested. It was strange, because she still got everything she requested, nobody treated her bad in any way, and she was mostly left alone. But it left a sour taste in her mouth, because a queen should be free to roam her castle and the people needed to see her, needed to hear her so they wouldn’t lose hope in this dark situation. 

Little did she know what happened outside the castle walls, for life was actually back to normal for most citizens and most of them just ignored what had happened three days ago.

Alexis hated to be a prisoner in her own chambers and she hated Loki even more for taking away her children. The maids couldn’t tell her if her children were unharmed, let alone where they were.

Even worse was the fear of the unknown. She had said, not quite literally, she would marry Loki in order for him to become king, but nobody had come thus far to put her in a wedding-dress or fetch her regarding the subject. Nobody could, or wanted, to tell her anything! At least, that’s what it felt like. The only one who seemed to know something, but never spoke, was her maid Rakel. 

What was even more disturbing was that she had some bruises on her neck and her wrists, but every time the queen asked her what happened she would just brisk it of with a half-hearty excuse. Alexis was worried about her, but none of the other maids who came into her chamber had the bruises, so she had put it to the back of her mind, discarding it currently as not important.

Sometimes Alexis woke in the middle of the night, hearing screams coming from Loki’s chamber, but before she was fully aware that she was awake and that somebody was screaming, the screaming stopped and Alexis would slumb back into sleep again.

 

As Alexis left her bathing area, a black dress was laid out on her bed. She didn’t recognize it for she never had ordered to make it. With one raised eyebrow she looked at Rakel who was there to assist her.

“The king--”, she bit her tongue. “Loki has asked you to wear this today”, she recovered quickly afore the queen could lash out at her again for referring to Loki as ‘king’. Which he wasn’t.  _ Yet-- _

Alexis looked at the black dress. It was very pretty, adorned with little black gems around the collar and the hem of the dress. The sleeves were long so they would cover her arms and the edges had a small, black, strip of fur to them.

Suddenly Alexis was filled with rage. How dared he? First he’d take everything from her, and then he would send her gifts this pretty! What cruel game was he playing? The anger turned into sadness and a tear rolled down Alexis’ cheek.

“Tell him I decline to wear it. Fetch me something else, Rakel”, she said bitterly. Rakel only inclined her head and scuttered out of the room. Alexis sank down on the side of the bed and buried her face in her hands. A hundred questions roamed her mind, and a thousand more feelings fought to be heard, but Alexis could not. She just wanted to be swallowed by the emptiness she felt.

She lifted her head from her hands and looked at the dress laying next to her on the bed. Then the rage was back, she grabbed the dress and threw it on the floor without looking. She hadn’t been aware that somebody had entered her room and that the dress landed at that persons feet.

“Now, that is just rude”, a deep and dark voice said. Bewildered Alexis looked up only to look Loki straight in the eye. His jaw was clenched while he looked at her, probably contemplating what to do with her. Then he bend to pick up the dress and walked to the bed. Alexis scurried away as he came closer and Loki casually put the dress on the bed next to her.

“I thought we had come to an understanding”, he said with no emotion in his voice.

“I will not wear the dress.” By the Gods, Alexis felt stupid. She was pouting like a little child, ready to put up a tantrum over a dress, but she cared not.

Loki walked around the room and fixed Rakel with a glare before turning to Alexis. “You will wear the dress”, he said with a slight threat in his voice.

“I most certainly will not.”

Within mere seconds Loki was in front of her, hovering over her again in that menacing way of his. “Don’t MAKE me to make you wear it”, he warned her with a snarl.

“Bite me”, she almost spat back in his face.

Slowly Loki straightened himself, pushing his lower jaw a little bit forward and glaring angry. “You just wasted your chance to voluntary put it on”, and with that his hands glowed green as he called upon his seidr.

Alexis felt the magic wrap around her and lifting her of the bed. She tried to struggle but the magic was too strong and with a few simple gestures Loki pushed her this way and that, fully controlling her body. The sensation of the magic having a hold on Alexis was smothering but strangely satisfying, and little prickles of pleasure ran over her skin. With a snap of his fingers he pointed at Rakel, who only nodded, picked up the dress and walked to Alexis. Alexis wanted to scream at Rakel, to tell her not to obey him, but she couldn’t talk and her movements were beyond her control.

Loki turned around, his back simply to her and Rakel as Rakel put the dress on Alexis. It wasn’t an easy feat to put a dress on somebody who was robbed of mobility and just wouldn’t cooperate, but Rakel managed and all the while there was no emotion on her face, no trace of apology, nothing.

It was weird that Loki was still with his back to her, just patiently waiting for Rakel to put her in that dress. It was actually very decent of him but the entire ordeal left a sour taste in Alexis’ mouth, unable to grasp at his motivations even though he acted so decent.

With a little cough Rakel let Loki know she was done and Loki turned around again, his hands still glowing green while he held Alexis in his grip.

“Good girl”, he complimented Rakel and with a lazy motion waved to the door. Rakel didn’t need to be told twice and scuttered out of the room.

“Now, are you coming with me willingly or do I have to drag you through the castle?” Loki said while his eyes spat fire at the queen.

Alexis felt some of the magic loosen its grip and when she tried to speak, she discovered she was able to. “You vile creature”, she spat at him. “What makes you think I will cooperate when you are putting me through this torment? I don’t listen to monsters and--”, just like that her words were cut off.

Loki walked to Alexis and grabbed her by the throat, not releasing his seidr. “If for once you would stop calling me a monster and listen to me, you’ll find that I’m not half the monster you think I am!” he almost screamed at her. With that he tossed her on the bed while releasing his magic. He walked to the door leading to his chambers and before he opened the door he looked over his shoulder and said, “I’ll give you a couple of minutes to consider my words. Do not take of that dress or my wrath will be merciless!” and with that he left the room.

 

***

 

Once out of the queens chambers and in his own, Loki ordered everybody out and casted a silence spell in the room.

That woman drove him crazy. She was so rebellious, so defying, so...  _ Attractive? _ Loki was startled by his own thoughts. He couldn’t deny the almost feverish longing for her that made his entire body shudder with a sense of longing and of lust.

He couldn’t, he just couldn’t, laying a finger on her in thát way would mess with his plan greatly and he couldn’t afford that.  _ Couldn’t he? _

No!

A little war erupted in his mind and he had never experienced that his mind, heart and body were fighting with each other so hard as they did now. He rubbed with his hands over his face but to no avail. The voice of reason in his mind got smaller and smaller, while his heart and body were taking the upper hand.

His blood was hot in his veins, burning with desire for the woman and he found himself leaning against her door, biting his lip until he tasted blood.  _ Put a lit on it! _ His mind screamed.  _ You weak futile creature. Cease being a slave of your own lust or do I need to bring out a monster to put your body back into place? _

The thought was utterly punishing, almost violent, but his mind was right. Loki collected himself and buried his feelings in a cold pit somewhere in his mind, and with that his body finally obeyed him once more. It was only now Loki noticed that he had been trembling and had dug his nails in his thighs. He still tasted the blood in his mouth from his torn lip. He scoffed. Calling forth a little of his seidr he healed his torn lip, pushed himself of the door and placed a calm demeanor on his face.

He had things to do, and so did the queen. He ran a hand through his hair and opened the door to the queen's chambers.

Alexis sat on the bed, it looked like she hadn’t moved at all since he had left the room, and she just blankly stared at him as he entered.

“Now, you’ve had plenty of time to think. Are you coming with me at free will, or do I have to force you?”, he calmly asked.

“Do what you will, but I will not heed your commands,” she said with no emotion whatsoever in her voice, and she just stared at him.

_ That woman!  _ Loki could feel his body heat rise again but he was just quick enough to catch it on time and bury it in the cold pit.  _ This woman would be the end of him-- _ He bit his lip to cut of the thought.

Alexis gave him a strange look and Loki mirthless smiled back at her. Without further words he called upon his seidr, casting his hand in that eerie green light, and wounded the queen in his magical grip. She tried to resist it but it was of no use, for Loki’s magic was far more powerful than her petite frame.

Loki opened the door to the halway, started walking towards his destination while magically dragging the rebellious queen behind him.

 

***

 

For any onlookers it looked like Alexis was walking with Loki out of free will, the only thing that betrayed her imprisonment were Loki’s fingers which glowed a soft green light.

They walked through the halls of the castle, neither of them spoke. Alexis couldn’t and Loki simply didn’t want too. They heard footsteps behind them, Alexis couldn’t turn and Loki didn’t bother. From the corner of her eyes Alexis saw Rakel joining them in their stroll through the castle.

Out they went into the courtyard, through the gates, across the green meadows in the direction of the lake. Fear wrapped itself around Alexis’ heart. What did they need to do there? What were they going to do anyway? Was this the day she had to marry this monster? Or was something else going on? A thousand questions and uncertainties raged through Alexis, but nothing could’ve prepared her for what she saw when they arrived at the lake.

A lot of people had gathered around the lake, all wearing fine clothing. As Loki and his protegeés walked towards the center of the gathered mass, people stepped aside making a path for them.

Just before they entered the center, people bustling all around them carrying wood, barking orders, or just seeking each other out, Loki stopped and so did Alexis, Rakel one respectful step behind them. Alexis’ heart dropped when she saw what was at the center of the gathered mass.

Piles of wood were stacked in the middle, their branches neatly woven into each other so they would support on itself in a oval circle. Mostly it were small piles of wood, but there was one that was bigger and larger than all the others, and on that pile of wood, covered in royal red fabrics, lay her dead husband.

Alexis felt the magical bonds loosen a little bit and Loki whispered into her ear, “maybe you want to reconsider your opinion that I’m a monster.”

Alexis turned her head in a snap, which she was able to do, and looked him straight in his blue eyes. She couldn’t pinpoint what she saw there, but it was most certainly not the monster she thought he was.

Loki snapped his fingers.

“MOM!” Alexis heard a scream to her right and she saw her two children running to her. With that Loki released his Seidr and Alexis was free to move and crouched so she could wrap her children into her arms. She seized them up, and they looked fine. It looked like the sudden and violent reign of Loki hadn’t affected them and they almost looked happy.

From the corner of her eye Alexis looked up at Loki who bristled, took a step back and pointedly looked at the ground. Alexis thought he looked very vulnerable in that moment, but it was only a split-second before he recovered himself and plastered a stern look back on his face, lifting his chin to look forward again.

Alexis rose from her crouch and grabbed both of her children by the hands. She wanted to go to hear husbands body on the pyre, but she wasn’t sure she was allowed to. She took a careful step forward, and then another, and when she wasn’t held back by Loki, she started to walk towards the pyre. Loki followed her, but stayed one step behind her. She didn’t understand why, maybe out of respect, maybe because that way he could better keep an eye on her... Probably the latter.

People nodded and bowed their respects as Alexis and the young princes passed them. Tears welled in Alexis’ eyes and when she reached the pyre, she couldn’t hold back anymore. She draped herself half over the pyre onto her husband body. He felt cold, just like her heart, her children clang to her dress. But for all the pain, heartbreak and loss she felt, she couldn’t stay in that position forever, she was a queen after all. Thus she composed herself, smoothed out her dress with her hands and bit back her tears.

 

***

 

The next couple of hours that followed was filled with people paying their respects to each other, the queen, and the little princes. And all the while Loki stayed one step behind her but never intervened, never said a word, and people just plainly ignored him. The only one who had attempted to make contact with him was Rakel, but the scowl she got in return was enough for her to just take a step back and be invisible as well.

Dusk fell and the bodies of the fallen warriors, and the dead king, were being transported to the boats. Torches were being lit and arrows got prepared, soaking their heads in oil.

Night had fully fallen when the boats set out on the clear water of the lake, the king first, the other boats following suit.

Then the moment was there, Alexis squeezed her children's hands and Loki took a step forward to stand next to her for the first time in hours. He actually been so silent she had almost forgotten he was even there. She looked at him sideways just as he put one fist into the air, keeping it there, and he nodded at her questiongly. Apparently he was waiting for her consent so he could give the order. Alexis bit her lip and made a small nod. Loki put his arm down in one motion, and with that giving the order to fire the first burning arrow at the boat of the fallen king.

It streaked through the air and hit the boat, setting it ablaze and casting an eerie light across the lake. Soon other burning arrows followed to set the other boats on fire. Alexis glimpsed at Loki, and it almost looked like his stern demeanor cracked. There was something there in those blue eyes that she couldn’t quite place, or maybe didn’t want to see, because if she admitted it was there, he indeed wouldn’t be a monster.

“Why are you doing this?” she whispered to him.

Loki titled his head a little and glanced from the corners of his eyes at her, not fully wanting to look her in the eye. He seemed to hesitate before he answered, but when he did, his voice was actually warm and caring. “Because I didn’t want to take away from you, what once was taken from me.”

Alexis’ jaw dropped and a look of pure astonishment crossed her face. That was the most human, real and caring thing he had said to her since stepping foot into this realm. Alexis’ heart almost shattered at the answer, but she composed herself, not wanting to let him see she was actually touched by his words.  _ Not wanting him to see you slowly start to view him as a person and not a monster? _ came the unbidden thought.

Alexis pressed her lips together into a thin line. Curiosity overtook her and she wanted to know what had happened to him in order to make such a decision to grant her, and her children, time for grief and a proper goodbye. But when she opened her mouth to say something, she was given a ferm warning glare and she closed her mouth again. In some act of compassion she reached out for him with her hand, but he gracefully, and unnoticeable to others, dodged it.

“Don’t,” was all he said with an ice cold voice and Alexis left it at that, turning her attention back to the lake.

 

***

 

Loki had stayed silent and in the background from the moment he had released Alexis from his seidr, on purpose. He wanted to give her the space she needed to mourn over the loved one she had lost. This was not his moment to be in the spotlights, not a moment for grandeur, but a moment for soberness and conservation.

As the events unfolded, Loki just stood there and watched until dusk fell. By that time Loki’s feelings were an absolute and horrible entangled mess, and he was glad he was still able to give the command to fire the arrows, because he was wrecked.

_ Still weak-- _ Loki shoved the thought away hard.

The whole event made him think of Frigga, and that was the absolute reason - a true reason - why he hadn’t denied Alexis this farewell. Because Loki was very aware of that what had been stolen from him; a chance to say goodbye to his mother. They hadn’t let him out of the dungeon, had hardly informed him of anything, and had left him there to rot, alone with painful feelings which he had thought would consume him whole.

_ Sentiment-- _ Loki almost growled at the thought.

A burning anger still lingered in him. An anger towards Thor and Odin, both of them who had failed to protect, or save, his mother. Every time he thought if it, it made his blood turn cold but set his heart ablaze filled with a consuming rage.

Even Though Loki had never attended the funeral of his mother, he knew what had had come to pass. Because after he had tricked Odin, and had brought him to Midgard, Loki had used his seidr to pull the memories of Frigga’s funeral from his memory. It had been a painful memory, but also one that might have given him some closure. But while Loki had seen the memory playing out in his mind, he also got a glimpse of Odin’s feelings at that moment, and even though Loki held no love for the man, he was sure beyond doubt that Odin had loved his wife until her last breath.

Just as Loki had loved her.

He still did.

Watching the fiery arrows sail through the air, Loki was swept into that memory of Odin, and tears formed in his eyes. With a quick gesture and use of his seidr he put up an illusion of himself just looking stern at the whole ordeal, while in reality he almost broke down.

When Alexis spoke to him, her question genuine, Loki had barely been able to answer it. At that moment he didn’t want to lie to her, or make a smart retort, with that one sentence he just wanted to tell her the truth. Painful as it might be, maybe even losing face, he didn’t care. With that his illusion had chanced a little bit, and something of his real feelings had slipped through. That was the moment Alexis had tried to reach for his hand, but if she touched him, the illusion would fall, and thát he couldn’t afford. So he had shied away from the gentle gesture, only for self preservation.

As soon as the events were finished, Loki guided Alexis back to her chambers. She didn’t struggle, she didn’t defy him, she said her children goodbye and came along. Maybe she didn’t put up a fight because she was still shocked by the whole ordeal, or maybe she was also lost in grief. Whatever it was, Loki was glad she didn’t put up a fight, because he wouldn’t have known what he would do to her. His feelings so raw, eating at him, burning his veins and almost tearing him apart, he might as well have done something to her which he surely would’ve come to regret.

After that he quickly went to his own chambers, and for the second time that day, put a muting spell in the room. There he slumped against the wall and let raw emotions take him over, his mind terrorizing him relentlessly.

_ You weak pathetic creature. _

Loki snarled at the thought, but it didn’t step down.

_ You and your sentiment, when will you ever learn! _

Loki screamed.

_ Sentiment-- _

Tears formed in his eyes and he cried his heart out over the loss of his mother, with nobody to hear.

Again.

_ THIS SENTIMENT WILL BE YOUR DOWNFALL! _ His mind screamed at him, battering him. Torturing him... A whirl of so many emotions overtook Loki and he almost choked on it. 

Alexis could say whatever she wanted, he might be a monster, but his heart definitely wasn’t made of ice.


	5. Masks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wanted to write some smut for this chapter, but that didn’t happen. First of all because a lot of plot is covered in this chapter and thus it almost left no more room for even more words, and second of all because it wouldn’t befit this chapter and it’s contents.  
> I also left a little note at the bottom, but make sure to read the story first, otherwise it will spoil.

A week had passed since the funeral and Alexis was still locked up in her chambers. From time to time Loki had allowed the children to be with her and with that her rebellion had seemed to diminish.

Loki paced the throne room like some caged animal thinking about what he just had read.

The librarian had given him some scrolls to read about the customs of a royal wedding of Nara, and Loki wasn’t happy at all. He was fuming with rage about the whole ordeal and not for the first time he almost wanted to abort his plan and just leave this realm far behind him. But he couldn’t, the stakes were too high, and he would get what he wanted.

It wasn’t so much the ceremony that made him angry, but the part that should happen before they pledged their commitment to each other. Because that part, that little detail, could ruin everything he so carefully had build in the last weeks.

It had taken some time for Alexis to trust him somewhat but that could all be wrecked within mere seconds with this stupid tradition. Tradition? If it was a tradition, it could be broken, he could talk his way out of it with his silver tongue, but it ran deeper than tradition and so Loki had to comply to it.

Loki had allowed for Alexis to get out of her chambers once a day so she could walk the courtyard or the small garden behind the castle. Of course under an escort of guards and some of his most vicious Kha’os Alvish who needed escorts and chains themselves in order not to rip people apart.

They were the most brutal creatures of death and darkness, animals,  _ just like you-- _

Loki snarled at the unbidden thought, startling one of the guards near his throne.

 

***

 

Alexis hadn’t been pleased with the escort, but it was better to have that moment out of her chambers under a terrifying escort, than not have it at all. At that point Alexis had also figured she just could go to the market and ‘buy’ things - she didn’t have to pay for items she wanted because that had all been arranged. It had struck her as odd, because she almost had been sure that Loki would have kept that away from her too, and that if she wanted to have something from the market, she should pay for it like a normal peasant, and money was one thing she didn’t have. Or well, she actually had, but not the literal coins in her pocket and thus she was surprised when she could just ‘buy’ the items she wanted like she always used to do.

A couple of times Loki had followed her, just to see what she would do with a look on his face that betrayed no emotion whatsoever. Alexis had felt the eyes boring into her back, but she didn’t care.

She had been allowed to say her farewell to her husband, grief alone, see her children, she was allowed out of her chambers and on top of that, she could still ‘buy’ whatever she wanted. She might have been a prisoner, but it started to feel less and less like it. And with that her rebellious self had subsided. 

 

***

 

Loki stood on the balcony of the-- HIS throne room,  _ not yet! _ Loki snarled, and looked out over the courtyard below where the queen returned from her little walk outside. She looked up and saw him standing, and with a courtly but unmistakable little gesture of her hand, she waved at him.

One of the Kha’os Alvish on the leash was snapping its teeth at someone who passed it to close, but the guard who controlled him was quick to jerk the chain that was wrapped around its neck, and send it reeling backwards, landing on its back. A vicious smile formed on Loki’s lips for he found it utterly amusing how these creatures treated.

Alexis payed the scene no heed, for she had learned to just ignore it. But Loki saw a flash of compassion towards the creature in her eyes and that look lodged itself into his heart, giving him the tiniest bit of hope he desperately needed. Because when Alexis would return to her chambers, Loki, and the priest who would carry out the wedding, would be waiting for her, for the first part of that damned arrangement.

It was thát part that could very well send everything crumbling into dust in front of Loki’s eyes and he dreaded it.

Then an idea sprang to mind and he barated himself for being so foolish. Was he not the God of Lies? The one who could wage a silver tongue and make everyone dance to his very will? Was he not the Master of Illusions? How stupid could he have been to not think of this sooner?

_ Stupid or weak? _ His conscience asked him. He left that question unanswered.

 

When Alexis entered her room, Loki was already waiting with said priest and she just sighed at the sight of them.

“Today is the day?” she casually asked Loki.

“Today for the first formalities, tomorrow the actual ceremony,” Loki casually shot back.

Alexis bit her lip and just nodded. “Then let's get it over with.”

Loki looked at the priest who nodded and picked up the two silver chalices that stood waiting on the table. The chalices were adorned with beautiful black patterns, swirling all over the hilt and cup of the chalices, and the priest gave one to Alexis, and one to Loki. Then he picked the carafe from the table, equally beautiful and obviously matching the chalices, and poured its content, a black liquid that contained all the colors of the rainbow and none, into the chalices Loki and Alexis were holding.

Loki and Alexis just stared at each other but no emotions or words were spoken in that stare, just a plain look of acceptance and maybe a little bit of a battle of will between them.

The priest picked up a knife and Loki held out his hand while the priest pricked his finger to draw blood. Loki put his hand above his chalice and a single drop of blood fell into the dark liquid. The priest did the same for Alexis and she let a single droplet fall into her chalice.

“In the light of oncoming events I, The Nameless, High-priest of Nara, execute the will of the ancient rites given to us by our ancestors, to prepare both Loki and queen Alexis-”

At no mention of any form of entitlement Loki gave the priest a sour look, who just shrugged and kept on talking, never missing a beat.

“-for their wedding of the morrow. With this liquid, delved from the most sacred lake of Nara, both enriched with a drop of your own blood, you will lay down your masks and show your true faces, not only to each other, but to thyself as well.”

Loki felt a darkness grip his heart at hearing the words but he did not gave in to it.

“Drink”, the priest commanded and so Loki and Alexis did, still looking each other in the eye over the rim of their chalices as they downed the contents.

Loki put his free hand behind his back while he emptied the chalice, and when it was empty, he put the chalice down on the table with a slight mocking bow towards the queen, never breaking eye contact. When he straightened himself back up he called for his seidr and so subtly cast a spell over himself it was never noticeable. The real Loki stepped away from his illusion, never visible under the invisibility part of the spell he had woven into it and stepped to the side.

Then he felt it, the liquid took hold of him and coursed through his veins. With that he felt his blood freeze and his heartbeat slowed down to a rate that would have set alarm to any other Aesir, or human for that matter. But Loki was familiar with the feeling and with dread he looked at himself as his skin turned blue. He had a hard time keeping the illusion up in front of Alexis, showing her and the priest his Aesir form and not his Jotun skin. For a split of a second he lost control as his Frost Giant part wrapped itself around and in him, and the eye color of his illusion became red in that instant.

Loki quickly tightened his grip on the illusion and averted disaster just in time for Alexis, or the priest, to take notice of the true color of his eyes.

The liquid still held him and rampaged through his veins and a vile taste spread through his mouth. Slowly he felt a burning sensation on his tongue which spread through his mouth, to his jaw, up to his skull and down his spine. It was mortifying and on top of that his blood was at war with itself, fighting the burning liquid but trying to cool down at the same time. Loki gritted his teeth as the sensations all crept to his heart at the same time, and when they reached it, they slammed at his heart making it skip a beat. Then all the sensations just died at once and he felt his skin crawl and saw it turn back to his Aesir form.

A quick glimpse at Alexis showed him she had experienced something similar, but probably not the same as him, for he knew the liquid affected everybody different and treated them to their true selves.

The real Loki walked to his illusion and took its place. Then he looked Alexis in the eye and a very evil grin spread across his face. Surely Alexis had hoped to see him a monster,  _ which you are _ , but Loki’s illusion had been strong and thus there was a little bit of disappointment readable from her face.

“And so the ancient wills of the ritual have spoken”, the priest said. His words felt a little bit sudden after the long moment of silence that had passed, but it marked the end of the rite. The priest stood there just looking at them both, probably waiting for them to say something, to witness the little melodrama that surely would unfold. But Loki would have none of that, he didn’t want any spectators and barked at the man. “Out! Now!”

The priested jumped slightly at the sudden display of passive aggressiveness, but needn’t to be told twice and scuttered out of the room.

Alexis and Loki were still in deadlock staring at each other until Alexis broke first. “If it wasn’t for the leverage you hold over me, this would never have happened. You know that right?”

Loki laughed, actually laughed with a form of joy in it, at the silly comment the queen had made. Alexis gave him a scrutinizing look but Loki only scoffed at that. “If it weren’t for the fact that I needed you to access something I want, you’d already been dead”, he hissed dangerously at her. “And your children as well”, he added to let her know that she was playing with fire and she should pick her words careful.  _ No they would not-- _ Loki smothered the thought.

Alexis stared at him, by now fully accustomed to Loki’s violent outbursts, and said, “in hindsight, I might have preferred that.”

A little bit of shock crossed Loki’s face at that moment and she could see a quick fleeting smile pass on his face. Loki said nothing to that remark for he did not know how to answer.

_ Sentiment, _ came the unbidden thought again. But this ran far deeper than sentiment. It was the actual full understanding of what her words meant, and that they were true, for it was an unspoken wish Loki had wished upon so many times himself. If somebody else just had made a different choice regarding his life, he wouldn't have been breathing now. And in that same regard Alexis viewed Loki, both of them a slave of somebody else's decision to let them live.

A lump formed in Loki’s throat, and when he spoke the next words, it was clearly audible, “when this is all over, and you still wish for it, I can still take it.” His suggestion wasn’t of the threatening kind but actually genuine. He just offered her something he never had, nor had the gut for to execute; a way out.

Loki’s words had Alexis rocking back on her heels, not only because of the words, but also with the tone with which he had spoken them. Maybe he never had meant to hurt her, but yet he had, and now he was offering one of life's most cruel solutions. On one hand is sounded repulsive and ridiculous, on the other hand it was tempting, but Alexis just reeled herself back before she could fall into that darkness and said, “I will let you know when I’m inclined to take your offer.” It wasn’t only a political correct answer, but also a true one.

Loki gave a court nod and respected the answer she had given him. Then he felt something tug at his heart, a feeling he long ago had buried. A feeling he in the Nine Realms didn’t want to feel right now! So he turned around, walked to the door and exited Alexis’ chambers to his own, the door clicking in the lock behind him.

Loki called forth a tidal wave of ominous feelings to smother the feeling tugging at his heart. Anger, sadness, self-loathing, loneliness, bitterness and hate, he all called them forth and mutilated himself with them. And the pain that came with those ominous feelings didn’t torment him the slightest because at this point he’d rather have this dark culprit eating him alive then what just had tugged at his heart.

Love…

 

***

 

The next day it was time for the wedding. It had taken Loki the better of yesterday, and it’s evening, to get back to himself. He had summoned one of the maids - fortunate not Rakel - to his chambers later that night, but the dark culprit had overtaken him, and after he was finished playing with her, the true monster had temporarily broken free from its bonds and Loki had killed the maid. 

Just because he could… Just because he wanted to taste the blood in his mouth… Just because he hadn’t been able to keep the monster at bay…

_ Weak... _

And now guild was trying to eat him alive. The voice in his mind maybe had spoken true. Maybe he was weak. But he had no time to fall into self-loathing or self-pity, and he pushed it all in the dark culprit, feeding it even more while he wasn’t in the slightest aware of that, and went on with the business that needed to be done today.

At the end of the day he would be king!

 

The castle was eerie quiet for the fact that there would be a royal wedding today. Normally it would be bustling with people running back and forth, making preparations, checking if everything was correctly laid out and planned, but today was not the case.

Because for all their differences, the fact that they loathed each other (did they?), and their bickering (and with that Loki’s dominant way of threatening the queen into submission), Alexis and Loki had agreed upon one thing: just get this wedding over with as soon, and quick, as possible! No spectators, no big ceremony, no feast afterwards, just the two of them (of course some maids and guards) and the priest. And definitely no rings! 

Alexis and Loki had fought over the presence of the children at this ordeal; Alexis wanted them there, Loki did not, and thus the children would not attend.

And so they stood on the dais of the altar, Loki in is full battle armour which shone again, and Alexis in a beautiful purple dress adorned with luxurious golden patterns. The priest at the altar wore simple robes even though they were his ceremonial robes, and the very few maids - Rakel among them - and guards who were granted to attend, just to protect them or serve them every need, were also dressed in shining armour or more ornate dresses than normal, though all of them kept to the shadows and out of sight as much as possible.

The priest started the ceremony and both Alexis and Loki were impatient to get it over with, both of them actually hating the whole ordeal. Alexis of course hated it because she was being forced to wed this man. Loki hated it because he needed to wed this queen in order to get what he was chasing and thus forced himself. Both of them wondered at the irony and what a ‘happy’ marriage this would be.

The priest just uttered the words of the ceremony, probably because he also wanted to get it over with quick, he had fulfilled more satisfying weddings than this, and quickly came to the point where they had to pledge faithfulness to each other. Loki had a hard time not scoffing at the thought alone. He? The God of Lies? The trickster? Keeper of Mischief… It was difficult not to laugh…

As the priest spoke more and more words, Loki felt a cold creeping over him and something tried to grab at his heart. It was a very familiar feeling and he tried to fight it with all his might, a little bit of fear even taking hold of him.

“Do you, Loki, take Queen Alexis to be your wife?” the priest asked. Just as they had agreed upon, no long titles, no declarations of love or blank vows, just simple and straight to the point. But as the question lingered in the air and demanded to be answered, so too demanded the monster inside Loki to be let out.

“Yes”, Loki stated and with that the monster couldn’t be kept at bay any longer, for this ceremony, ancient in its ways and rites, didn’t accept anything less than the truth. And Loki knew, could FEEL, that he wasn’t able to pass this off with an illusion this time. He gave in and the monster came out.

Alexis was shocked when Loki’s skin turned blue and red eyes stared back at her. If the priest was even remotely shocked, he didn’t show. Alexis gasped and took a few steps backward out of fear of what stood in front of her.

Loki on the other hand was just angry. Angry at his treacherous being. Angry at his heritage. Angry about the fact that he yesterday tried so hard to cover this very truth but no longer was able to hide it. He was so angry with himself, but he did not show and kept his face blank. Eventually the inevitable words spilled from Alexis’ lips.

“You ARE a monster.”

The rage overtook Loki’s face and a deep showing hatred made the angry ridges on his Jotun face stand out even more.

Alexis took another step back in fear, this time truly seeing a monster standing in front of her. “Priest, abort this wedding, I will not marry a monster.”

Loki inhaled sharp and angry at her words, it was a good thing he had prepared for this, and he snapped his fingers. From the shadows of the room stepped two guards forward, both of them holding one of Alexis children, followed by two Kha’os Alvish on leashes and their masters. They advanced towards the altar but kept their safe distance, and the guards both put a knife to the children's throats, a hand on their mouths to prevent them from screaming.

“You will,” Loki said with a raspy voice. “Don’t, and the consequences will be your children's, and after that, yours”. With those words the two Kha’os Alvish started to tug at their leashes and prowl threateningly towards the children. The boys wanted to scream, but the hands on their mouths prevented them from doing so, and only a faint whimper could be heard.

Pure rage shone in Alexis eyes and tears formed on the rims of her eyes. She was at an utter and complete loss because she didn’t want to marry this monster, but neither did she want her children to die. Maybe it would be merciful for all of them if they just died.

“Stalling won’t get you anywhere and, in fact, it will only make this worse,” Loki threatened and he made a quick gesture at one of the guards holding a Kha’os Alvish. He veered the leash a little and the Kha’os Alvish took it as an invitation to try and strike at the weakest creature in the room, being the youngest child. He propelled itself forward only to be held back back the chains around his neck and he viciously snapped his teeth at the legs of one the youngest. It wanted to taste flesh and blood, and this youngling smelled exceptionally good.

The child tried to scream but couldn’t and thus started shaking violently out of utter terror. Alexis’ heart almost exploded and only now did she see that Loki wouldn’t let her die unless he got what he wanted. It mattered not what she would or wouldn’t do, he would get everything he desired, at her expense, and even if that meant treating in such a cruel way. If only she could understand his motivations.

Loki’s hand slowly raised again into the air. “Don’t take to long”, he coldly said to the queen.

She gave in. 

“Fine. Priest, proceed”, she said defeated.

Loki lowered his hand and waved the guards with the children away. They retreated to the shadows of the room.

“Will you, queen Alexis, take Loki as your husband?” the priest asked, still not showing any form of opinion over anything that happened or was happening.

Alexis swallowed the lump that was blocking her throat. “Yes”, she almost whispered.

“Then I, The Nameless, vested with the power in me, High-priest of Nara, pronounce you, husband and wife. King Loki and Queen Alexis, you are now bound until the end of days.”

And as the priest spoke those words, Loki felt an iron shackle around his heart viciously snap shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all girls who were hoping for a lovely dovely wedding, I’m so sorry! I think it wouldn’t have befitted the story, (and I’m actually not one for all the cheesy romantic stuff) but I promise I’ll make it up soon!


	6. Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I actually struggled a little bit while writing this chapter, which is the reason why it is shorter. After the previous chapters a lot of important things happened and this is sort of the dip where you have to pick up the story and keep running with it, or else it will al crumble to ashes. I think I managed though and next chapter will be better, promised!

It had been two days since Loki and Alexis had been wed. From that very moment Alexis had almost all of her freedom back and she was no longer a prisoner in her own chambers. She had seen her children every day on her own terms, roamed the castle on her own terms and had hardly seen Loki at all.

It was late afternoon when one of the servants came to her and passed on an invitation Loki had sent her. He had invited her to dinner tonight along with her children. At first she had been very reluctant to take the invitation, but then she remembered the one point of leverage with which he could make her do anything, even marrying her as it seemed, and she obliged.

_ It is actually so simple _ , she thought. As long as she heeded his every command, just smiled and did as she was told, her children were safe and she would be almost entirely free to do as she pleased. If that is what it would take, then she would do so while keeping her head held high. The life of a Queen had never been easy anyway, so she would be able to carry this out.

 

Alexis approached the dining room and through its door she could hear her children laugh. She didn’t know if Loki was inside or not, but if he was, her children didn’t seem to mind for they sounded happy. Come to think of it, she hadn’t seen on single piece of evidence that Loki hadn’t treated them right when they were out of her sight. Well… save for the moment of him entering the castle and the wedding. But otherwise they hadn’t been harmed in any way and it made Alexis wonder if he really was so bad as she thought he was.

She reeled the thought back when the image of a blue-skinned, red-eyed Loki sprang to her mind. She had been terrified, not knowing what kind of creature had been standing in front of her. She also wondered why the first ceremony had failed to show his true nature.

As she mused over that, she pushed open the doors and walked into the room. Her children exclaimed in unison a happy “Mommy!” and ran into her arms to give her a hug.

She looked around the room and spotted Loki at the head of the table, hanging in his seat, his stare blank. By his side sat one chained Kha’os Alvish which he patted absently and the creature seemed very content with the attention, almost purring. Alexis shivered for she still found the creature repulsing and in her opinion they didn’t make for very good domestic pets.

One of the servants carefully edged closer to Loki, very pointitly trying to avoid the chained creature at Loki’s side, probably very scared of it, and spoke something into the King's ear. Loki nodded and the servant scurried away as quick as possible.

Loki turned to Alexis, looking at her as if he saw her for the first time and then smiled. He then stopped patting the Kha’os Alvish and immediately it started to hiss and sputter, demanding attention from its master, but Loki didn’t give it. “Please, sit down”, he bade her gesturing to the chair on the left side of the table.

Wearily Alexis eyed the chair, or better said, the creature that sat at Loki’s side and she didn’t move. At that point the Kha’os Alvish really demanded attention and started to snap its teeth at Loki’s hands, ringing the chains as it did. With a quick move Loki grabbed the creature by its pointy ear and pulled at it, hauling its head backwards. Loki put his face close to that of the creature and stared it down. At first the Kha’os Alvish growled and hissed, trying to defy its master, but then Loki bared his teeth and let out a low and threatening growl, a sound that no humanoid could easily produce. The creature succumbed and tried to pull away but Loki was still holding its ear in a firm grip. Then he let go of the creature and it tried to scurry away from the King, but didn’t get far for his chains kept him in place. Loki sighed, grabbed the chain and held it out. From the side of the room a guard quickly paced towards Loki, grabbed the chain and walked away with the Kha’os Alvish. It looked back at its master and Loki gave it a warning glare, the creature cringed.

Alexis wasn’t quite sure what had just played out in front of her eyes, but a very reasonable fear took root in her heart and she would make sure to never forget that her King could control creatures made from nightmares. The raw power with which he had pushed the Kha’os Alvish into submission without speaking a single word just made her shiver. 

It had been one thing to display such a power, and even treat her in the almost same way, but Loki had used words with her and Alexis was a rational being, able to speak and think the language of higher life-forms. This was a creature that was close to an animal, and one had to have a very strong will to rediate that kind of power over something so utterly feral.

Finally she was able to move again and gracefully she walked to the seat Loki had gestured at, and she took place. Her two children sitting across her, her eldest right next to the Tamer of Nightmares.

 

***

 

The servants placed food on the tables and the children had a hard time not to dive in straight away. Loki saw the boys itching and longing for the delicious looking food and he actually wondered what they had been fed in the past days that they looked at this food as if they had been starving.

“Go on,” Loki urged the children even before every plate had been sat upon the table, and they needn't to be told twice. Like hungry wolves they attacked the food. 

Loki and Alexis on the other hand had the decency to wait until everything was on the table afore they started their meal which was accompanied by a good glass of wine. Of course this wasn't Asgards fine wine he was used to, but it didn't taste bad and it would do.

Alexis just said nothing but just stole peeks at him from the corner of her eye and eventually Loki had enough of it. “Speak your mind, my Queen,” he spoke the last words a bit mockingly but not rude or condescending in any way.

“When will your army leave?” she asked bluntly.

Loki was taken aback a little by the question, but considering the events of a couple of minutes ago, he understood. “They won't,” he said curtly.

Alexis almost choked on the food she was eating and started to cough, but she quickly regained composure. “Why not? What use of them do you have here?”

“They are merely a tool which I like to keep close at hand. Just like you,” he grinned.

Alexis ignored the last comment and said, “I don't like them and they scare the children. Could you at least keep them out of the castle's walls?”

Loki took a bite of a piece of bread and mulled over the question. He swallowed and answered, “what would I gain by doing that? They no longer rampage through the halls and shedding blood as they did when I arrived a fortnight ago, so why should I?”

“BECAUSE ONE MONSTER IN MY CASTLE IS ENOUGH!” Alexis suddenly snapped at him, and when her brain had caught up to the words she had spoken, she put a hand in front of her mouth and a little gasp left her lips.

The children were shocked at the sudden outburst of their mother and eyed her with an uncertain look. “You are excused from the table. Now,” she said to her children and she gestured at a servant to quickly take them away before the King would…  _ would do what? _

As soon as the children were out of harm’s way, she looked at Loki, who coldly looked back, his lower jaw taut with anger he tried to control.

“I- I'm sorry,” Alexis stuttered. “I should.. I should not have said that,” and she looked down at the table, her body a tight wire for it expected a lash of violence from Loki.

Loki had dire problems with controlling his anger, but he was able to catch it and put it away in his dark culprit, feeding the monster that lay there. A restraint sigh escaped him and he forced himself to stay calm. He didn't know what to do with this subject. Every single chance the Queen got to rub it in his face, she would. She would batter him relentlessly with the words, only to beg for forgiveness afterwards even though she meant the words she had spoken. And every time Loki would get angry, punish her and hurt her. It would be a dance which they never could escape if one of them didn't break the cycle before it even started. 

_ Weak-- _ Loki swatted at the thought.  _ You want to be King, you want to control it all, subjugate the entire universe. Then why care for such a mere mortal and her poisonous words? She deserves to be punished each and every single time! _

Loki had taken so long to make any movement, to show any form of action, that tears of fear were silently rolling down the cheeks of the Queen while she still stared down at the table. She didn't dare to look up, but Loki not doing or saying anything, making her wait, was utter and pure torment in its rawest form. A torment she concocted on herself without knowing.

Slowly Loki leaned forward and stretched his hand carefully towards her face. When Alexis saw his hand approach, she squeezed her eyes shut.

Loki caught on to that movement and, before he could touch her to wipe at the tear on her cheek, he pulled back his hand as if something had bitten it.

She was just so scared of him, that even when he tried to be kind to her, she only expected pain and preventedly acted upon that.

_ Than give her that pa-- _

Loki sighed, and this time his hurt shimmered through and he did not try to hide it. With his thumb and index finger he rubbed his eyes and with all the calm he could muster he spoke, “you can not keep saying that forever. Not because you don’t think it true, which it ain't, and not because you don't feel that way, but because every time you say it, you hurt yourself.” Loki leaned back in his seat and Alexis carefully opened her eyes and glanced at him. 

He seemed to wait for some form of answer but Alexis’ mind went completely blank except for one question. “What are you?” 

Loki bit his lip and stared at her. Under his glare she seemed to cringe again, her mind her own tormentor once more.

Loki got up and walked a few steps away to create some distance between them so they could breathe. He turned his back to her and folded his hands on his back as well. Then he spoke. “My heritage - my blood - is that of a Jotun, yet my upbringing was Aesir. In my realm I'm known as the God of Mischief, though I bear many titles that follow along that same line. Laufeyson, Odinson, Silvertongue, Trickster, just given names and titles for which I care not--”

_ Liar!  _ His mind sneered at him and Loki cringed briefly.

A short silence hang in the air before Alexis swallowed and spoke. “I have not heard of the names and places you just spoke of, I do not know what they mean and thus I do not understand.”

Loki nodded and opened his mouth, but before he could speak, Alexis did, “but I think you are right about what you said earlier. I will try to hold back my tongue and stop calling- nay, viewing you as a monster, but for that you need to give me time. And I need reason to believe you are not what I think you are, I need you to show me you are not.” Alexis stood up from the table and walked to the door and before she left she said, ”if you are not able to do that, neither of us will ever be free of this toxic soiree,” and with that she left the room, leaving Loki alone with her words that hooked into his heart and gnawed at the vibers of his very being. 

 

***

 

After the dinner, which hadn’t been very much of a dinner for Alexis had barely eaten, she had gone back to her chambers and fallen into the bed.

She had cried then. A lot, and hard, because the stress that had been building up in her body needed a way out. After that sheer exhaustion had claimed her and she had fallen asleep.

At some point during the night she woke up. She wasn’t sure what had woken her up until she heard it again. Someone was screaming.

The sound went through marrow and bone and it took Alexis a couple of seconds to shake the sleep from her brain and pinpoint where it was coming from. She looked at the door, the one that led to Loki’s chambers.

Then she remembered. It wasn’t the first time she had heard somebody screaming in the middle of the night, and the sound would always come from his chambers. Sometimes the screams were obviously female, but sometimes male. This time had clearly had been female.

But Alexis heard no more screams, the woman had went silent, like they all did. 

Curiosity got the better of her and she jumped out of bed and walked to Loki’s door. She had tried the door a few times before in these nightly escapades, but it was always locked. She tried the door, expecting it to be locked this night too, but to her surprise it wasn’t locked.

For a moment she hesitated. Did she want to open that door? Did she truly want to know what was happening on the other side? If he found out she was snooping around she would have to face his wrath. But an act of defiance overtook her and she pushed the door open a little so she could peek inside.

On the floor, next to the bed, lay one of the Kha’os Alvish weirdly curled up into a ball. Its chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm, apparently it was asleep. Alexis shuddered. She wouldn’t be able to sleep with such a vile creature next to her bed.

On the bed sat one of her maids - Rakel! She sat cross legged on the bed and wasn’t wearing any clothes. Her head was down and shackles were place around her neck and wrists which connected with chains. Her hair fell in front of her eyes as she just looked down, said or did nothing.

Alexis let out a little gasp and quickly clapped her hand in front of her mouth, almost trying to put the sound back were it came from. But she had been heard and she saw Rakel looking at the door- no, at her, from the corner of her eye.

At that point Alexis heard footsteps behind the door and the next thing she knew was the door slamming in her face, a clicking sound followed. The last thing she heard before everything went silent once more was the whimpering sound that Rakel made.

Alexis’ heart dropped in her stomach. She didn’t know what was happening on the other side - and it didn’t bode Loki well for her not viewing him as a monster - but Alexis was very sure she wouldn’t see Rakel ever again.

 

***

 

After her nightly escapade it had taken Alexis quite some time to fall asleep again, all types of doom-scenarios playing in her mind. Eventually the exhaustion had taken over again and she woke to the sun that was warming her face.

As she woke to the delightful feeling of the sun or her face, her brain had a hard time to start its memory, and for a couple of seconds Alexis didn’t remember what had happened in the past two weeks and she just enjoyed waking up in the sunlight.

“My Queen?” a familiar voice said.

Wading through some thick foggy clouds in her brain, the memories slowly formed again in Alexis’ mind and with a jolt she sad up. Rakel!

Rakel was standing near the table, a fresh tray of food on it. Alexis rubbed her eyes trying to rub the sleep out of her eyes and kickstart her brain.

“Rakel-- You-- I thought--”, Alexis stammared at seeing the maiden alive and well. Had everything been a bad dream after all? Just a nightmare produced by her own brain? But then she noted the red marks on her neck and wrists and Alexis knew it hadn’t been a dream.

Rakel caught the Queen looking at it and she quickly tried to hide it.

“What did he do to you?” Alexis asked still a little bit baffled.

Rakel looked at the ground, a little smile worked its way to her lips as she thought back to the night before, and she stammered. “I-- He--”, she couldn’t bear to get the words past her lips seeing the hurt in the Queens eyes as she tried to look up.

“He didn’t hurt you now did he? Because if so then--”

Before Alexis would start a full rant about Loki being a monster, Rakel interrupted her, “nothing I didn’t ask for nor wanted.” A coy smile played on her lips and with that Rakel hoped the Queen would just drop the subject.

Alexis opened her mouth to say something but then her brain caught on, and with a snap she closed her jaw. 

_ Well, this puts things in perspective _ , her brain bluntly said.

She looked at Rakel and again opened her mouth to say something, but for the second time she got interrupted as a servant opened the door and walked over to her, a message clearly burning on her lips.

“Speak,” Alexis said with a sigh. Apparently the universe had decided Alexis and Rakel wouldn’t be talking about what had happened last night, so she might as well drop it.

“The King has asked for your presence in the throne room as soon as possible, my Queen.” Alexis nodded and with that the servant scurried out of the room again.

Alexis did not look forward to sit next to her King now she understood what had happened last night.

Not at all…


	7. Hunter and Prey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I so much enjoyed writing this chapter. It may stray a little bit further from the story than I had planned, but on the other hand I’m trying to steer this somewhere and I needed a chapter to breathe. I wanted to explore something different in the characters and gave a little bit more podium to Loki’s army and his dominant and predatory side. I hope you like it because I love this chapter. Ghehehe.

Loki sat on his throne, his two chained Kha’os Alvish lying to either side, while he was hearing yet another story of one of the citizens of Nara and how injustice had been done to them by somebody else.

Loki was bored out of his mind, but as a king he should deal with such quables in order to keep the people happy and he sure as Helheim didn’t want a rebellion on his hands. Not now, not when he was ever so close to his ultimate goal.

“Let them place a fence on metre on either side of the border” Loki said to his scribent. He looked up at the two men standing in front of him. “When you are past your feeble quables you can get the border, and with that your rightful piece of land, back. Until such time, that piece of land is mine”, and he waved both men off. It was a weird solution, most certainly if you considered all the land in the kingdom- nay, realm, already belonged to him. But he didn’t feel like picking sides for either one of them, so let them fight among themselves and a solution would come to pass in time.

Loki looked to his right were Alexis was seated. Most of the time she was quiet during such politics, only answering when Loki asked her opinion on a matter. He stared at her while the scribent announced the next person. Loki was only paying half attention while he glared at the queen who looked like she was trying to become invisible under his glare. She probably hadn’t forgotten what she had seen last night and Loki actually wondered at her opinion about thát…

“My king, one of your Kha’os Alvish has tried to attack our farm.”

With those words Loki snapped out of his reverie and sharply turned his head to the man.

“They did what?” Loki hissed. The two Kha’os Alvish next to the throne stirred. Something was about to happen, they could feel it.

“My king, they were patrolling the--”. Loki put up a hand to silence him.

“I don’t care what they were doing,” he coldly said. Loki stood up from his throne, his hands glowing green with his seidr, and he slowly walked down from the dais. His two Kha’os Alvish followed him, their shackles still around their necks but no longer chained. The man his eyes grew wide as Loki approached with his two beasts, and fear was readable from his face, he started to tremble.

“My king, I- I’m sorry. I-” the man stuttered.

Loki was now directly in front of the man, their noses almost touching. “Shhh,” loki said soothingly, which sounded more threatening than soorthing. “Now. Whatever you do, do not move in the slightest, or it will be the last thing you’ll ever do”, Loki said to the man who still looked terror stricken as the Kha’os Alvish came closer. Loki took a step back.

The man answered with his eyes, for he indeed didn’t dare to move anymore and Loki’s hands glowed some more.

The two Kha’os Alvish circled the man, sniffing him and tasting the air. Low growls escaped their throats and sometimes jerked their heads this way or that. One of them straightened itself to its hind legs and put his face so close to the mans, he could feel its hot breath on his cheek and smell the blood in the creature’s mouth. Then it fell back to all fours again and joined it’s companion.

Then they stepped back and looked to their master. “Find him”, Loki said with utter malice in his voice. The two Kha’os Alvish snarled and paced restless within Loki’s seidr bonds. “Bring him to me.” and with that he released the two creatures who viciously bounded out of the room, startling some guards as they passed.

Loki went back to his throne and sat down. The man let out a quivering sigh he had been holding for far to long. The fabric around the man’s crotch was wet and a sheer terror still lingered in his eyes.

Alexis felt sorry for the man, Loki just ignored it.

 

***

 

Half an hour had passed when they heard screaming and snarls coming from the halway. A few guards gripped their weapons tighter but with a gesture Loki told them to be at easy.

The man who had told about the attack of the Kha’os Alvish had been standing to the side while Loki had dealt with some other little squabbles in the meantime.

The doors flew open and Loki’s two pet Kha’os Alvish walked in, dragging a battered and bleeding Kha’os Alvish with them. In front of the dais they stopped and dropped their prey which squirmed a little bit. When it probbed itself up on its elbows, and tried to rise, one of the pets bit him in the ankle, a scream escaping his lips as teeth grinded against bone.

Loki snapped his fingers and the Kha’os Alvish let him go. Both of the feral creatures walked up the dais and coaxed themselves against their master, who absently scratched them as he got up. A green light quickly fleeted among Loki’s fingers and the Kha’os Alvish were chained up once more.

“Get up”, he barked at the Kha’os Alvish which lay at the dais of the throne.

If the Kha’os Alvish was in pain, he didn’t show it as he quickly got up from the floor.

Loki snapped his fingers and pointed down with his index finger and immediately the Kha’os Alvish kneeled, not looking up.

“Had I NOT instructed you to leave the people of Nara in peace?” Loki spat with vicious anger.

“Y-yes”, the Kha’os Alvish answered.

“YES WHAT?!” Loki angrily demanded from him.

“Yes, my Emperor”, the Kha’os Alvish squeaked.

_ Emperor _ ? Alexis mused.  _ Well that was quick, he owned two realms and he was already an emperor? _

Loki walked down the dais until he was in front of the Kha’os Alvish and looked down upon him. “Why did you attack that man?” he asked as he pointed to the man who was standing at the side, still shivering like a little child.

“We are bored, my Emperor. A fortnight ago you gave is glorious battle, the taste of blood, of death. We relished in the chaos, the hunt, but it had only been one day and since then we are locked up on this planet with only ourselves to fight amongst.”

Loki scoffed. “Still, you ignored my direct command.”

“Y-yes, my Emperor”, the Kha’os Alvish stammered and started to tremble slightly.

Loki was still with his back to his queen when he spoke, “my queen, what do you think we should do with him?”

_ Kill him! Kill them all! _ Was the first thought that came to Alexis’ mind, but she didn’t voice that. “I’m not sure my king, those creatures belong to you,” she answered political.

Loki snorted a laugh. “My queen, you are lying. You want them, or at least him, dead. Don’t you?”

“Y-Yes, my King. Very much.”

“And what have I told you about death?” Loki asked her while still staring down at the Kha’os Alvish.

“Death is the easy way out, my King,” Alexis answered quickly, almost pasting the words together. Loki looked over his shoulder, a little smile on his lips and a twinkle in his eyes that almost said she was a good and well behaving girl. Then he looked back at the Kha’os Alvish.

“You heard the Queen. Death is the easy way out,” Loki circled him while he continued speaking. “You failed to heed my command and I can not let that go unpunished. And since you are all so bored I propose a little… entertainment, just keep you and yours satisfied for a night.” The Kha’os Alvish was fully shivering with fear (and probably pain from his many wounds) now, while he waited the judgement of his Emperor. “I’ll organize a hunt so the army can have it’s blood,” Loki mused while still circling the Kha’os Alvish. The two creatures next to his throne started to stir and growl, for the implication of another hunt fully fed their bloodlust. 

“And of course you will participate in this”, Loki said darkly.

“M-My Emperor?” the Kha’os Alvish asked afraid.

Loki barked an evil laugh and turned to the man on side, the evil laugh quickly swept off his face. “And of course, my dear man, you are invited to join in this hunt. I’m sure you want some retaliation for the crime that has been bestowed upon you.” The man didn’t answer in any way and Loki turned to two of the guards while grabbing the Kha’os Alvish by his hairs. “Chain him, lock him up in the dungeon and place guards near his cell. I do not wish my prey to escape afore I set out the hunt for tonight,” and with that he shoved the Kha’os Alvish forward and walked back to his throne, petting the two feral creatures near it who had grown restless, and sat down.

Alexis started at him with big eyes, a little bit of fright readable in them but mostly astonishment. Loki shrugged at her and watched as the Kha’os Alvish got dragged away.

 

***

 

Loki walked through the camp of the Kha’os Alvish, he had shapeshifted to look exactly like the Kha’os Alvish who he had just confined to the dungeon, his two pets walking behind him.

He entered the biggest tent in the camp and looked at the three Kha’os Alvish who sat there. They were the leaders of this camp as long as Loki wasn’t around - which he often wasn’t - and they would be the ones knowing what was going on. Of course Loki knew they were up to something for he had stolen the memories of the Kha’os Alvish which he had locked in the dungeon, but he hadn’t gotten a full story.

“Rak’ash!” one of them exclaimed at seeing Loki who was still the Kha’os Alvish. “You’re still alive, we had not expected that when his little pets came you dragging out of here.”

Rak’ash harumped as he eyed them. “How far along in the plans are we?” Loki asked.

“Almost ready”, one of them answered. “If everything is going according to plan, we can overthrow that trickster within two days.”

“Tell me again how this plan will play out,” Loki said cautiously.

“Why? You know the plan”, one of them answered.

“Because repetition is good when you plan something this dangerous, especially when dealing with our chaotic minds.”

One of them tilted their head at the odd choice of words but shrugged. It wasn’t uncommon for them to sometimes lose themselves in their own chaos and often change, albeit it subtle, or for everyone to pick up on.

“The Ferals will attack the castle. You and I will take a squat to the throne room and kill the little prick and his mistress. If they ain’t there Irr’khan and Dna’gar...” the speaking Kha’os Alvish nodded to his other two companions, “...will be at their chambers to kill them if they are there. If not, we search the castle and we’ll kill everyone in our way. When all is settled, this realm is also ours.”

Loki nodded slowly. “And who else knows about this plan?”

“Only we do”, the one named Irr’khan said with a smirk. “What happened to you when those pets dragged you of? Did you suffer a blow to the back of your head that you forgot this all?”

Loki laughed, “No. I’ve got a question tough. What if that ‘trickster’ discovers this plan?”

The Kha’os Alvish looked at each other, a bepuzzled look on their faces. “He will not”, Dna’gar said a little out of balance.

Suddenly the tent was alight with green light. The two pets of Loki bounded in circling their master, growling and sputtering at the traitorous Kha’os Alvish who couldn’t move.

“Wrong”, Loki said as he shapeshifted back to his Aesir form and stepped forward in full armour, his seidr binding the three. Their feet let go of the ground as they slowly drifted up in the air. Loki’s pets still growled and paced restless. The blood in their veins was pomping fast at the pure adrenaline and bloodlust took over, but their master didn’t give his preys to them.

Loki walked out of the tent, the three Kha’os Alvish bound by his seidr drifting behind him while his pets kept spectators at bay and occasionally tried to snap at the prisoners. Without interruptions Loki strided through the camp and walked to the center of it. Kha’os Alvish followed their Emperor, curious what was going on and what would happen.

When Loki stood at the center of attention he spoke. “One of you told me you are bored.” The gathered Kha’os Alvish muttered their agreement. “And what a poor Emperor I would be if I would not arrange for entertainment. Tonight there will be a hunt and you are all invited”, with that a loud cheering and almost animalistic howl ran through the camp. Loki looked up at his prisoners a wicked smile spread across his face, “and you are three out of four who will be the hunted.”

 

***

 

Loki and Alexis sat at the table while having dinner, Loki’s Kha’os Alvish curled up next to his chair, luckily on the other side of where Alexis sat. She had become used to them and was fully aware that they would obey every command of their master, but she still didn’t like them.

Not much words had been spoken between them for the events of the day still ran through their minds. Occasionally one of them would say something but it were short remarks and the tension in the air was just awkward.

It had been silent for a solid couple of minutes when Loki spoke, “will you join in the hunt?”

Alexis looked up, the question had taken her aback and confusion was readable from her face. “Why would I like to participate in something so… barbarous?” she asked him.

Loki laughed. “This hunt is no different from your average fox hunt. Except we are not hunting foxes but traitorous Kha’os Alvish.”

“Foxes are animals and these are--”.  _ Well, are most of them not animals as well? _ The thought settled in her brain and she mused over it. Maybe they were, but they also still had a humanoid aspect to them, especially the ones who could talk and showed a higher form of intelligence, in contrast to Loki’s pets. “I’m not quite sure if I’m comfortable with hunting something that looks so humanoid and akin to myself”, she spoke honestly.

Loki laughed at that, but it wasn’t a malicious or mocking laugh but one out of joy, and he licked his lips. “Are you sure? One of them is the one who almost tore your husband apart, and almost bit him to death. Had I not intervened, your husband would’ve died then and there”.

A spark lit in Alexis’ eyes and she angrily looked at Loki.

“Had I been there sooner I might have been able to prevent his deadly wounds, but the Kha’os Alvish had been quicker,” he said while waging his silver tongue and manipulating the Queen.

A snarl formed on Alexis lips and it was the first time she felt something akin to a bloodlust. A will to avenge and take her wrath out on her tormentors. Maybe this would be able to sustain the pain she felt, even it was only a little.

“Join me. No harm will befall you, I promise. And you’ll get your revenge.” Loki’s trap snapped shut and he knew Alexis had baited for he saw it in her eyes. “Good”, he purred at his Queen while he sipped his wine.

 

***

 

As the night fell howls and screams filled the air, the anticipation of hunt and blood thick in the atmosphere.

Loki and Alexis sat on their horses, two magnificent regal black steeds who pounded the ground with their hooves impatiently. Loki wore his full armour including his helmet and Alexis was also wearing armour; a gift from Loki. It was an almost fully black, metal armour but it shone with all the colors of the rainbow. The edges were adorned with complex patterns of gold and even though it was a full body armour, the movement was astonishing, for she could move without limitation. Loki must have been planning this gift for weeks for she didn’t believe one could produce this in a couple of hours. She had been reluctant to accept it, but it was beautiful and she didn’t have any armour, so she had accepted it.

Loki’s pets circled near them, kept in place by Loki’s seidr, not upsetting the horses in the slightest and ready for the command of their master.

They rode out in the night and of to the forest, the four prisoners dragged behind horses of Loki’s captains. When they entered the woods Loki gave the command to set them free. If they could outrun the hunting party, they were free of their punishment. Of course all of them knew that wasn’t going to happen and that this was their last hour alive. Yet, when they were set free they ran like freedom was something they could achieve even though their fate was already sealed, and disappeared in the woods.

Loki waited a couple of minutes, giving them a good head start before he released his army. Almost a hundred Kha’os Alvish took to the woods to hunt their kin, a bloodlust burning in their veins.

“Ready?” Loki asked Alexis. She gave him a look of sheer bloodlust and kicked her horse into motion who galloped into the woods. Loki smiled and kicked his own horse, running after his queen.

Loki’s Kha’os Alvish ran alongside him, squealing and moaning for their master to release them of his magic so they could hunt at their full potential. He quickly caught up to his Queen and when he was running alongside her, he set his pets free. With snarls that almost went through marrow and bone they bounded of, relishing in the thrill and already almost tasting the blood on their tongues.

One of them picked up a scent from one of the Kha’os Alvish and with guttural snarls led the way, Loki and Alexis in tow.

Alexis actually enjoyed this hunt even though something in the back of her mind still found this whole ordeal very barbarish. But she couldn’t deny the thrill that ran through her veins unlike any she had ever felt before. Sure, she had been on hunting parties with her husband- previous husband, but they had hunted foxes and other small game, nothing of this sort. And at those hunts the air wasn’t tick of anticipation, let alone that an army of hundred Kha’os Alvish ran along with them. She berated herself for a decent Queen wouldn’t love this type of bloodshed, but she couldn’t help herself.

Soon they had one of the Kha’os Alvish cornered and Loki’s pets circled their prey. They were fully aware that if they harmed or killed this one their master wouldn’t be pleased, and thus they paced ever so restless, keeping the Kha’os Alvish cornered.

Loki gracefully swept down from his noble steed and walked to his queen to give her a hand so she could get of her horse as well. As she did Loki caught her by the waist and in the motion their noses almost touched. Something stirred in Alexis right then and there when it happened, but she pushed the feeling away with all the force she could muster.  _ You’re not starting to feel any form of affection for this monster now, are you? _

Quickly she drew away from Loki and wandered to the corned Kha’os Alvish, Loki’s pets parting and giving her space as she neared. The short feeling of affection for Loki mingled with the burning rage that was seethed deep within her heart, and she felt its claws tear at her. She looked at the Kha’os Alvish which lay writhing on the ground, its eyes flitting from left to right in order to find a way out. But he knew there wasn’t any, and if the Queen wouldn’t kill him, his Emperor or his pets surely would. And they would be much more vicious than this Queen.

Loki stepped next to his queen, handing her an elegant sword, and without looking at it, or Loki, she took it, her eyes still on her prey. Loki then whispered into her ear, “this is the one.” He needn’t say no more for he could almost feel the rage ignite in his Queen.

Alexis stalked forward, Loki’s pets still restless and flanking her, but she paid them no heed. She only had eyes for the one who had hurted her previous King, her husband. Her love. She could almost imagine those pointy teeth sinking into her husbands flesh and a fire burned in her eyes. 

The Kha’os Alvish picked up on it and started to beg. “Please, no. Please, I beg you.” But it was futile, the queen would hear it not. “Please. Spare me. My Empress--”

_ Empress? _ Alexis liked that, but it wouldn’t take hold in her brain for the pain and anger was far greater and smothered every other feeling in her bones. She lifted her sword high in the air.

“Please. No,” writhed the pitiful creature beneath her, but it was to no avail. She plunged the sword down, point first, and jammed the sword right through the Kha’os Alvish’ skull, skewering him.

A spray of purple blood hit her face and armour and the creature dropped dead to her feet while it slit of her sword in one motion. She looked at the dead creature at her feet and suddenly her feelings came back, and like a tidal wave, overtook her. Every feeling she had been suppressing surfaced and they all warred-- no, demanded, to be paid attention to.

Alexis started to shake and she felt a hand at the small of her back. She looked up with tears in her eyes and saw Loki staring at her. Genuine concern in those pretty blue eyes and Alexis gave in. She turned and placed her head on her shoulder and cried. Loki put his other hand softly on the back of her head and stroked her hair, not saying a word.

Behind her she heard the feral growls of a carnage, undoubtedly his pets who were tearing their kin apart, but Alexis cared not for one thought assaulted her relentlessly over and over again...

_ Who is the monster now? _


	8. The Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my drafts there is still a note that I have to write some smut for this story, but I’ve giving up on actively purchasing that. Every time I close in on that planned chapter, I postpone it because another idea springs to my mind (and maybe I’m a little reluctant to write it). I’ll leave the NSFW-warning on this story though, because reasons.  
> This is also the chapter where I start to stray a little bit from the original imagine. So all in all, I’m just writing and I’ll see where this story goes, and thank you all for supporting my writings. I’ve also left another note at the bottom of this chapter, but read this chapter first before scrolling to it, otherwise it’ll spoil.

Some time had passed in the realm of Nara, and fall had turned to winter, casting the world around the castle barren and often white.

As much as Alexis hated to admit it, Loki had been a good ruler and the realm was prosperous. Loki had made some new laws where everybody would at least get what they needed, and if possible more, and thus there wasn’t any hunger anymore. Of course this had set of some landlords and other nobles, but Loki had cared not. Some of them had complained they had lost some of their riches, but if they complained too much, they would just disappear, never to be heard of again. Eventually all went silent and complainants were reduced to a minimum.

Loki’s army had their own little village outside the castle now and from time to time he went there to see how they were doing. Sometimes a portal would open and new Kha’os Alvish arrived or others left Nara. The number of incidents around the Kha’os Alvish had flared up a little since the hunt but Loki had been quick to put a lit on it, and everything seemed peaceful now.

Loki still owned his two pet Kha’os Alvish though and they were no longer chained as they once had been though they still wore their shackles. Even though Alexis knew they wouldn’t harm her or her children in any way, she still wasn’t happy to have them around. So today she wanted to confront him about it.

When everybody finally had left the throne room, except for the guards and maids of course, Alexis spoke. “Loki, I want to ask you something.”

A hum was all the answer she got and she proceeded to talk. “Can you… Can you sent your Alvish pets away? I- I just don’t want them around the castle anymore.”

Loki looked at her then, a confusion spread across his face and he bit his lip. Then he dryly said, “no.”

“But we- you don’t need them any longer to be around. Nobody will harm you and we have guards should something like that happen,” Alexis tried.

Loki’s look turned to one of pure amusement and he laughed. “They will stay,” he coldly said. “But if you want I can arrange for you too have one for yourself. Maybe we can get rid of the guards…” he mused.

Alexis looked at Loki, to the creatures that were laying at his feet and back at him again. A little bit of disgust crossed her face. “I'd rather have a normal pet, like a cat or a dog.”

“My dogs would tear your cat asunder and eat them whole,” he threateningly said and then laughed.

“Yes, I think I should be glad your dogs haven't eaten my children yet,” Alexis bit venomously.

Loki raised an eyebrow at that remark and a guilty look washed over Alexis. She shouldn’t be mouthing off to him like that. Loki bit his lip again. “They won’t attack you or your children because they only listen to their master,” Loki said stern.

“For now, yes,” Alexis said sour.

“What was that?” Loki barked harshly at her.

“Nothing, I-- I just… Leave it,” Alexis sighed. “Forget I brought it up, I’m sorry.”

Loki smiled at her in that denigrating way of his. “Good. The Kha’os Alvish stay and you won’t get a cat or a dog,” he stated matter of factly but Alexis could still hear the underlying threat in his voice.

“If that was all the business we had to attend today, I’ll take my leave.” Loki got up from his throne, walked to the doors with his two pets at his heels, and left.

_ One, two, three, fo- _ Alexis counted the seconds it took for Rakel to leave the throne room as well. Three and a half second. Alexis shuddered at the thought of what she had seen a while ago, and shivered even harder at the thoughts of the screams that sometimes came from his room.

She was just very glad she didn’t share a room with him, but she couldn’t deny she also was a little bit curious.

 

***

 

The castle was buzzing and people were scurrying everywhere. Tables and chairs were being put into place, rooms were being cleaned, people dragging this and that around the castle and everybody did so with a smile on their faces.

Today was the winter solstice and as soon as Loki had learned about it being a day of celebration, he had set things into motion to arrange for a big feast. 

Normally the winter solstice was celebrated throughout Nara, but the festivities would be confined to the villages themselves and there would be a minor party in the castle for royals only. But Loki hadn’t want to hear anything about those traditions and had muttered something in the lines of ‘this tradition is worth so much more grandeur’, and hadn’t wasted one single minute to call on his lackeys to arrange for things right away.

Alexis had been surprised at his outright enthusiasm, almost childish delight, and when he mentioned a ball, she had been thrilled about the prospect.

She had even started helping him with the arrangements, sometimes to his delight, sometimes to his annoyance.

Alexis had send for a tailor to make her a beautiful dress for the ball and the silversmith was currently working on a marvelous headpiece for her to wear. She walked through the halls of the castle on her way to Loki’s room, another tailor and Rakel in her wake.

Alexis had set her mind on one thing, if there’d be a ball, then Loki wouldn’t be allowed to show up in his armour or usual leathers but at least had to wear something that would befit the festivities.

She was scared out of her mind to confront him and even try to make him do this, and that is why she had brought Rakel as some form of back up, even though they both knew that if Loki didn’t want to cooperate they were absolutely no match for him.

Alexis knocked on his door.

 

***

 

With a flick of his wrist and a call to his seidr, Loki opened the door while not once getting up from his chair, only quickly peeking over the rim of his book afore turning his attention back to its content. His two Kha’os Alvish looked up as the door opened, got up and started to pace toward the door. Loki didn’t need to look up to know that at least one person who was standing in the door opening would completely pale at the sight of his pets nearing him.

Alexis and Rakel had placed the man behind themselves forming a sort of barrier between the creatures and the tailor. Loki uttered a low guttural growl in the back of his throat and the two Kha’os Alvish bounded back to him and curled up at his feet.

“What can I do for you?” he asked still not looking up from his book.

Alexis stepped into his room and Rakel quickly followed. The tailor however hovered by the door, not sure whether to enter or not. 

It was the first time tough that Alexis had seen Loki’s room. Well, except for that one time… 

It had once been her previous husbands room, but there was nothing even remotely present anymore that it had ever been the previous King’s room. And it didn’t look quite as she imagined it would’ve looked either. The furniture was made of black wood with no intricate carvings of any sort, only some gold painted accents on some edges. The sheets on his bed were just plain and simple white and Alexis was sure there were more pillows on his bed than on hers, and the carpet on the dark wooden floor was also white but had gold thread woven into its borders. 

Alexis was actually surprised for the room was furnished so spare and his taste in decoration seemed so… simple? She had at least expected more motifs, patterns and a somewhat more shouting decor than this serenity.

“Loki, this is tailor Mikael,” Alexis said nervously. Loki didn’t look up from his book and didn’t even say anything, so cautiously she proceeded. “And he-- Well, he’s-- I’m--” Alexis stuttered, the nervousness almost eating her alive. “He--”

“He’s here to tailor you a decent garment for the winter solstice ball,” Rakel said bold and bluntly.

At that blunt remark from the maid Loki suddenly snapped his book shut and looked up at the people standing in his room, a small fire and a threat clear in his eyes.

It was absurd that they thought he wouldn’t attire the right garments for this ball, he already had thought about it and arranged for it. He wasn’t as much angry as he was disappointed in their horrible assessment of him on regarding this subject, because he wouldn’t orchestrate a ball as grand as this one just so show up in his regular garments.

He shot a firm warning at Rakel that she had to be very careful on how she would proceed and she took a step back. Alexis caught up on the action and suddenly found her voice and boldness. “And you will concede to this because it aint a request.”

That ticked Loki of straight away and within the blink of an eye he stood up from his chair, startling his Kha’os Alvish, and stood in front of his Queen. He stared her down, rage in his eyes and he hissed while he spoke, “I will NOT take command from you, little Queen. You should know your place.”

Alexis cringed and took a step back. Behind Loki his two pets threateningly started to advance. This time it was Rakel who put herself in front of Alexis, protecting the Queen and matching his stare while their noses almost touched. Loki’s hand shot forward as he grabbed Rakel by the throat, but he didn’t squeeze or try to hurt her in any way, he was just preventing her from going anywhere. “Out! Now!” he barked at Alexis and Mikael, and Mikael didn’t need to be told twice and scurried away. Alexis lingered for a moment, eyeing Rakel unsure and not wanting to leave her.

Loki called forth his Seidr and shoved Alexis out of the room, the door falling shut with a bang behind her.

 

***

 

Normally Loki had a love-hate relationship with parties, especially the ones on Asgard. He liked festivities because he could behave a little mischievous, but on the other hand he often lingered on parties alone because not many people wanted to be around him anyways.

But since he was the King and organizer of the ball, he could arrange everything to his liking and he definitely wouldn’t be ignored, and thus he had looked forward to it.

Dusk had fallen and so the festivities began. Loki walked out of his chambers into the hallway and knocked on Alexis’ door. He could’ve just taken the door that adjoined their rooms, but that wasn’t very courteous to collect a lady - and a Queen at that - for a ball.

When she opened the door at his knock, Loki’s breath caught in his throat. She looked stunning. Her half long white hair flowed around her face and shone almost silver in the dim light. She wore a beautiful woven golden circlet which was set with an emerald green gem. Her emerald green dress was simple but elegant. The sleeves were short and left her shoulders bare; the borders of the entire dress were adorned with gold stitching and from her hips down the fabric fanned out.

Alexis was equally stunned as well when she looked at Loki because she had not expected him to show up in anything else than his usual garments, but she had been wrong. He was wearing a long black coat made of soft and light fabric which accentuated his physique. It was adorned with patches of emerald green and golden accents. The lower part of the coat had multiple slits up to his hips to allow for movement, and flowed around his legs. One might say it looked very similar to his regular clothing, but Alexis could see the many subtle differences, and what stood out most was the fact that it wasn’t made of leather. His trousers were made from the same black fabric and he wore high boots which were adorned with golden clasps. He looked very handsome and regal, and Alexis felt something tighten in her chest.

Loki took her hand and placed a quick peck on the back of her hand, “my Queen.” His other hand briefly flashed green with his magic and a little black box appeared in his hand. “Please take this gift for tonight's festivities,” and he offered her the present. Eyeing him wearily she took the box and opened its lit. Her breathing stoked in her throat. Inside the box lay a beautiful golden necklace which would perfectly match her circlet. She took it out and held it in front of her eyes, mesmerized.

“If I may?” Loki asked polite. Alexis nodded and Loki took the necklace from her and stepped behind her. Carefully he brushed her hair aside and his touch send goose bumps down her arms. He put on the necklace and spun her around so he could admire the jewelry around her neck. She looked marvelous indeed.

For a moment the two stared at each other, not saying a word and Loki bit his lip. He wanted to say how beautiful she looked but he couldn’t get the words out, let alone he thought he would be capable of speaking a normal cohesive sentence.

He looked in her grey eyes and mumbled something Alexis barely caught on to, “Your eyes are absolutely captivating.” She was taken aback by his words, for in them she could hear him speaking from the heart, but it also made her a little sad that he didn’t say anything about her dress or the gift he just got her.

Loki berated himself for his clumsy words, normally he was a lot smoother when it came to these type of conversations, but truth to be told, he was actually scared beyond measure at that very moment. He had no clue as to why but it probably had to do something with feelings of affection he tried to bury as badly as he could. Before his mind could start to berate him about ‘sentiment’ or being ‘weak’ he spoke. “Shall we?” and he held out his arm.

Alexis nodded paralyzed and took his arm and they walked off to the ballroom.

 

***

 

Everybody had left the ballroom, except for the musicians. After an evening full of sound, people talking and laughing, the room was eerie quit right now and it gave a ghostly feeling.

Alexis looked down at her feet. She was sad because she had wanted to dance so badly, but nobody had asked her too. Probably because nobody dared to come closer to her with the monsters sitting next to her - because of course the Kha’os Alvish had lingered around their table - or maybe because no-one dared to ask the Queen to dance because she was the Queen. Not even Loki had asked her to dance, and he had actually been very much obliged to dance with her as he was King, but he hadn’t.

Alexis had been so lost in her thoughts, almost drowning in her sadness, that she hadn’t heard that the musicians had started to play a soft and slow melody.

“May I have this dance?” Loki asked her while extending his hand, the other behind his back while making a small bow.

He had startled her and she looked up. With a little doubt she eyed Loki, but the smile on his face, and his words, seemed genuine and she had wanted to dance so badly, it was the reason of her pouting. With a little delight which she hid, she took his hand and he escorted her to the dance floor.

They made the necessary polite courtesies which were tradition before starting a dance and then Loki took a step closer to her, put an arm around her waist, intertwined his fingers with hers and took a few paces. Without missing a beat Alexis followed his lead and slowly they danced around the ball room.

“You can dance?” she asked incredulously.

“Is that so hard to believe?” he scoffed amused. “I was raised to be a king, of course I can dance. I’ve been dancing long before you were even born, my little Queen.”

“That ain’t possible, you aren’t that old,” she laughed.

Loki gave her an amused look and leaned closer to whisper into her ear, a shiver went down her spine, “I’m over a thousand years old, so I’m pretty sure it is very possible.”

Alexis’ breath stoked in her throat for a second. She swallowed before she made her bold remark while snickering, “than you’ll have a lot of experience with dancing.”

It was Loki’s turn to snicker, “if only you’d know.”

“I’m curious. Tell me,” Alexis said with a light twinkling in her eyes.

“I’m pretty sure you don’t want to know, little Queen.”

“Stop calling me little. If I couldn’t handle the answer I wouldn’t have asked.” The remark was bold and might even put Loki in an angry mood, but there was no malicious or rebellious intend in her voice, just the statement of the fact that she didn’t like to be called ‘little’.

Loki only smiled at her remark though it was a predatory smile, one of wanting to own something. “I’ve done a lot of things while dancing, most of them not being quite the dance as you might expect. Involving… other things,” he said mysteriously.

“Other things like what? And how is that even possible? When you are dancing, what else can you do in the meanwhile?” Alexis was just playing naive to see what Loki would spill. Of course she knew better because dancing often were politics of their own. 

“I told you I’m the God of Mischief, and believe me, a lot of mischievous things happen on the dance floor.”

“What does that even mean?” Alexis asked teasingly, but she wasn’t quite sure she wanted to know the answer.

“It means I can put leverage on the very person I’m dancing with,” Loki whispered softly. “I can have a intimate conversation which looks innocent to onlookers, while at that very moment I can threaten someone to hurt them, make them do what I want, even threaten to take their live while no-one knows or sees.” Loki felt the dark culprit in his stomach gnaw at him. He had some very fond memories of dancing while threatening someone, but some of them had ended indeed with hurt, and even death.

Alexis pulled her head backwards and looked at him in shock. Loki took it as a que and pushed her further backwards, making her back arc and having her to lift a leg to keep balance. To onlookers it looked like a gracious sweep which belonged in the dance, but Loki was putting just enough pressure on her so that her body had to comply to the move and thus giving Loki the upperhand.

“See, the moves are so subtle nobody sees, but you are fully at my mercy now. If I would put on a little more pressure...” which he did and Alexis felt her back strain to keep her from falling. Loki released the pressure while pulling her back up, making her spin on her heel and catching her against him, so he could whisper in her ear. “...there is nothing you can do,” and he chuckled while they kept dancing, her back against his chest, her head against his chin.

For a moment Alexis forgot who she was dancing with and she closed her eyes, reveling in the moment of the dance. She hadn’t had such a moment in a long time and for the first time since Loki’s arrival she felt her muscles unclench and relax. She let out a sigh that was filled with pleasure and longing. She laid her head back on his shoulder and leaned in to the crevice of his neck.

Loki also revelled in the moment of the dance. With an half eye he looked at his Queen, the other still focused on the room around him, never letting his guard down. But he thoroughly enjoyed the dance, and it had been a while since he actually had danced. Then he felt something he hadn’t felt in a long time, and if he had felt it, he had pushed it away. Carefully he treated towards the feeling, only allowing a little bit for it to take control of him, but as soon as he took the lit of, it tried to consume him. This time tough, Loki let it and didn’t try to bury his feelings of affection with the darkness that lingered within him. And so his guard slipped a little as well and with his head he leaned a little bit closer to Alexis’.

“They say dancing is the vertical manifestation of a horizontal desire,” Loki’s dark voice whispered in her ear, sending shivers down her spine, and with a swift move he turned her around, their noses touching.

Alexis opened her eyes at the sudden movement but it was in that moment that she looked into Loki’s blue eyes and didn’t saw a monster but a man. There was no hint of maliciousness, no hint of his dominance in his eyes and they seemed to spark with desire and love.

Alexis wasn’t sure what happened, maybe it had been the music, maybe it had been the dance or Loki’s hot voice in her ear, but she leaned in closer and brushed his lips with hers. “Maybe it is,” she whispered against his lips, sending little prickles of pleasure through her body at the intimate feeling. Then she leaned in a little bit more and kissed him. To her surprise he kissed her back, setting a fire low in her abdomen.

Loki was just as surprised at his own action as she was, and at that moment it scared him. A lot! Quickly he withdrew from the kiss and the embrace and he put his mask of indifference back on his face. He let go of Alexis and took a step back. “My Queen,” he said while making a stiff bow. “Thank you for this dance. If you’d be so kind to excuse me,” and with that he called forth his Seidr and disappeared, leaving her all alone standing in the middle of an empty dance floor.

 

***

 

Loki teleported to his chamber and he leaned against the door. His heart was beating in his throat and his lips were still sizzling with the feeling from the kiss. His eyes wide he blankly stared at the wall and for once his mind had come to a halt.

His mind kicked his body into gear and walked to his bed and fell face first into the soft pillows. He ran one hand over the back of his head and rolled over, staring at the ceiling.

The kiss had scattered every thought in his brain and had left him with a feeling that his heart had exploded. After acting harshly for so long, keeping up a mask and shoving away his feelings, things finally caught up with him.

It wasn’t the plan, not at all, but was he falling in love with this woman? That couldn’t be! She was merely a tool he needed to get what he wanted, not even a plaything, let alone someone to love. Yet his memories took him back to events of the past, the first time she had stood up to him to defend her children, the moment at the funeral she had tried to grab his hand, the wedding, their dance…

This couldn’t be true. This couldn’t be happening! Far more important things were at stake and he couldn’t have a woman - or a man for that matter - holding him back because of love. He put his finger on his lips where he still felt the sizzling sensation of the kiss.

A plaything was one thing, love was something else entirely, and she could never love him. She thought of him as a monster thus why would she give her love to him? Why would anybody love him anyways? He hadn’t been nice, he didn’t play nice nor did he want too.

Suddenly he heard a scratching at his door and some low growls. Still half in his reverie he opened the door with his Seidr and his two Kha’os Alvish walked in and Loki closed the door behind them. He stared one of them in the eye and could see the cold and calculated mind that was the instinct of the creature.

He had to get that back! He didn’t need his head spinning over some woman! He decided that this had been a moment of weakness. It wouldn’t happen again! And thus he pushed the feelings away in his dark culprit, denying the feeling of love and locking away his heart.

Yet his heart had started to beat with such a ferocity that his mind and body had a hard time to deny his true feelings towards the Queen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few chapters ago I said I would make up for the lack of a (lovely dovely) wedding in this story. As it turns out, I can’t write weddings, but I seem to have no problem with writing a grand ball while giggling like a love-smitten teenage girl… I very much enjoyed writing this!


	9. Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been a while since I updated on this story, but I finished three chapters in once so I could wrap up this story. Why? Well, after you’ve read the next chapter (which I will put on next week) you will understand. This chapter also steers towards a new chain of events. The first paragraph may seem a little weird and even OOC, but just keep reading.

“This is your true form?” Alexis asked astonished.

“Yes.” Loki was holding two weird devices, both glowing blue.

“And what are those?”

“This,” Loki held out a blue glowing cube, “is named the Tesseract. And this is the Casket of Ancient Winters.”

“What are you going to do with them?” Alexis asked a little skeptical.

“I can use the Tesseract to open a passage between realms. And the Casket I can use for various things.”

Alexis shuddered. “Show me.”

Loki made the Casket of Ancient Winters disappear with his magic and took up the Tesseract. Green magic rose from his hand and flowed around the Tesseract which began to sizzle. Suddenly a portal opened and Alexis could see what lay behind it, seeing a frozen wasteland on the other side. “What is that place?”

“That is Jotunheim. The Realm where I was born,” Loki said contemplating.

“And those are?”

Before Loki could answer a horde of Frost Giants ran towards the portal, murder in their red eyes. Loki tried to close the portal, but something was refraining him from doing so. Within mere seconds the Frost Giants came through the portal, weapons of ice in their hands.

Fear gripped Alexis’ heart and when she looked at Loki she could see that he was thrown of balance to by the events. A Frost Giant heaved his icy weapon, ready to pierce Alexis, and she screamed.

 

***

 

Loki shot up in his bed, covered in cold sweat. A scream had awoken him and his Kha’os Alvish were awake and pacing restless through his chamber. Then he heard multiple screams and the hairs on his neck stood upright. His Kha’os Alvish grew even more restless, tasting the threat in the air Loki felt.

Something was horribly amiss!

With his seidr he opened the door between his and Alexis’ chamber and summoned his full armour while leaping out of bed. He bounced into her chambers to see her next to her bed, a bewilderment in her eyes. “What is happening?” she asked him in fear.

“I don’t know. I woke up to a scream,” Loki said warily scanning her chambers with his eyes, but there was no threat in her room.

“I dreamed that you opened a portal with some weird device,” she awkwardly said.

Loki startled. He had dreamed the exact same thing and a faint hint of dread crossed his eyes which he soon replaced with a burning anger. If Alexis had dreamed the exact same thing as he had dreamed, then maybe it hadn’t been a dream at all. And that would mean a horde of Frost Giants was rampaging through his castle right now!

More screams erupted throughout the castle and Alexis looked at him and then suddenly realised that they were under attack. “The children!” she exclaimed and bolted for the door. 

Loki turned to his pet Kha’os Alvish and pointed to one of them. “With her. Now! Protect her and hers at all costs.” The Kha’os Alvish bounded after Alexis who already had left the room in a hurry to get to her children.

“With me. Now!” he appointed his other pet and he strolled out of the chamber, a defiant purpose in his stride, a snarl on his lips and a bloodlust in his eyes. His thoughts mulled through him.  _Who were these attackers? He didn’t open the portal now did he? Had he been that stupid?_

He ran through the halls and when he rounded a corner he encountered three Frost Giants.  _Damn_ _!_ Loki skidded to a halt but his Kha’os Alvish picked up speed and flew at the throat of one of the Frost Giants, ripping its throat and killing him instantly. But the Kha’os Alvish immediately got burned with frostbite and it screamed in pain, leaped away from the body and bounded back to Loki and placed itself behind its master while making soft moans.

Loki called forth his daggers and threw one knife at one of the remaining Frost Giants, lodging the knife in the creature’s throat which went down gurgling.

The last Frost Giant looked at Loki and a wicked smile spread across his face. “Lost Princeling, you will never win this fight,” and with that the Frost Giant leapt forward, an icicle as weapon to kill. Loki quickly spun away while he kicked out, making solid contact with his pet which flew out of harm's way as well. The creature got angry at first but saw that Loki probably had saved his life and suddenly its fear got replaced by anger and once more the creature flung itself at a frost giant fully aware of the fact that the frostbite it would hurt him once more.

As the Kha’os Alvish hit the Frost Giant from behind, Loki spun on his heel to avoid a blow and quickly jammed his dagger in the Frost Giants’ skull, dropping it dead as well.

His Kha’os Alvish landed next to Loki but was whimpering, blood pouring from its mouth, frostbite all over his face. Suddenly Loki was very aware of the fact that he had forgotten that he was immune to the touch of Frost Giants but that everybody else in this realm probably was not, and he quickly released his other Kha’os Alvish fought the same way and was probably frostbitten as well by now. And his Queen...

Loki grabbed the Kha’os Alvish by its jaw and called forth his seidr to heal the worst damage from the frostbite. “Go to Alexis and switch with your kin, send your kin to me. Now!” The Kha’os Alvish needn’t be told twice and ran off through the hallway looking for the Queen.

Loki didn’t wait for either of them to return and moved through his castle, along the way killing a couple of Frost Giants.

When he reached the outer gate, Viros, the captain of the army of Nara, had already assembled its army and was barking orders, sending soldiers this way and that. “My King,” Viros bowed as he saw Loki arrive and fell in step next to him while talking. “The outer gate hasn’t been taken… Yet. They are with many and strong and the gate will probably not last for long, we need to fortify it.”

Suddenly a layer of ice covered the entire gate, giving it a white glow. “Steady!” one of the lieutenants called but Loki already knew it was to late; the outer gate was lost. He hadn’t finished the thought or the gate shatter into a million little pieces of ice, flying like glass shards through the soldiers of the first ranks, killing or wounding them, and within mere seconds the Frost Giants followed suit pouring through the gate.

“Back to the courtyard!” Loki barked. “And don’t let them touch you,” he added albeit he said that a little softer. Soldiers rushed past him while his captain and lieutenant took over the command. Loki took a stance and waited for the Frost Giants to spot him and he called forth his seidr, multiplying himself a numerous of times.

“My King, we’re going to shut the gate, hurry!” Viros called frightened from the courtyard. Loki only laughed. The Frost Giants came closer and closer and behind him Loki heard the rattling of chains of the gate that was being lowered.

As always everything happened at once and precisely according to Loki’s plan. As the first Frost Giants hit his illusions, the gate fell shut behind him. One of the Frost Giants ran towards Loki, probably not knowing that he was running towards the real Loki and not one of the illusions. Just as it reached Loki, Loki grabbed him by the throat, jammed a dagger in its abdomen, opened a portal with the help of the Tesseract and took the giant with him through it, both of them tumbling out on the other side which was the courtyard.

With a dagger he pinned one of the Frost Giants hands to the ground, and tried to pin the other as well. But the Frost Giant was quicker than Loki had anticipated (and way stronger!) and he grabbed Loki by the throat. Loki felt the change starting to take hold of him and he struggled for breath. He tried to jam his other dagger in his enemy, but the Frost Giants arms were long and held him at bay, not making it able for Loki to make contact. Black splotches started to swim in front of his eyes as he still struggled for breath and tried to fight the change of his true form at the same time.

“Lost Princeling, that was a bold move. You will never win this, and all you have will be lost.” The Frost Giant laughed malicious. Loki couldn’t fight his change to his true form any longer if he wanted to stay conscious, thus he stopped that struggle so he could focus on the hand that sealed of his airway. Suddenly the hand let go and the shaft of a spear was still quivering mere inches from his nose, the spear lodged in the shoulder of the Frost Giant. With no time to spare Loki acted quickly and purely on instinct and pinned the other hand of the frost giant as well. He regained his inner balance and calmed himself down so he could take up his Aesir form again.

Loki was just in time when the captain came walking to him and started talking, “my King. What happened? What have you done?” he said baffled. “Why--”.

Loki rolled away from the Frost Giant and saw that its legs were also pinned to the ground with spears. He got up and dusted himself off, looking at the Frost Giant at his feet which was still alive. “Bring me a torch, NOW!” Loki barked.

 

***

 

Alexis took a step back, her hands protectively out to both sides behind which she held the children. The Kha’os Alvish that had been sent with her lie whimpering on the floor in a corner, frostbite all over its face and body, and the Frost Giant in front of her was threateningly closing in on her.

“Now you’re mine, little girl,” the Frost Giant said evil and Alexis skittishly looked around her, trying to see if she could find a way out. There was none and soon she would be with her back against the wall with nowhere to go, nobody to save her and no weapon to defend herself with.

The Frost Giant took another step forward and Alexis felt the wall against her back as she took another step backwards. 

“Nowhere to go,” the Frost Giant spoke. “Now you--”

Suddenly the Frost Giant froze in place while blood was pouring from its throat. Loki’s other Kha’os Alvish became visible as the Giant slumped down, a dagger in the hand and standing on its hind legs.

Alexis raised an eyebrow. She thought the creatures only fought with teeth and claws but apparently they were intelligent enough to pick up weapons when their flesh was under threat. Quickly it spun around to aid its companion and Alexis turned to her children, paying them no further heed.

Suddenly there was a green and blue flash in the room and Alexis turned her head to look over her shoulder. Loki stood there, his hands, face and armour covered in blood and he walked towards her. “Are you alright?” he asked, genuine concern in his eyes.

“Y- Yes,” she stammered still shivering with fear, her children clinging to her.

“Good! Time to go,” he said and another flash of green and blue filled the room as Loki opened another portal. “Go,” he ordered her.

“Where does that lead to?” Alexis asked while eyeing the portal skeptical.

“IF YOU FOR ONCE COULD JUST TRUST ME AND DO AS YOUR TOLD!” Loki snapped.

A new fright took hold of Alexis, but soon her brain told her to be rational and she needn’t to fear Loki. His outburst was completely legit and maybe indeed for once in her life she shouldn’t question him. The last time she had questioned him and had put up a fight, she had felt guilty for days because he had granted her to say goodbye to her previous husband while she had put up a tantrum aforehand.

She looked at him and saw a seething anger in his eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said, and she meant it. “Come on,” she urged her children on and walked to the portal. Before she stepped through she turned to him and she wanted to say a million things but only two words got past her lips, “be safe.” And with that she, and her children, stepped through the portal.

 

***

 

Loki let the portal snap shut as soon as Alexis had stepped through it, a slight feeling of relief washing over him. Feelings still tormented him after the kiss they had shared just hours ago but they mixed with current feelings of anger and hate.

Loki heard a moan and turned his attention to his Kha’os Alvish which lay crumbled in a corner and was badly injured. Calling forth his seidr once more he healed its worst wounds and got back to his feet. He grabbed a sword from a dead guard and threw it at the feet of the Kha’os Alvish, not bothering to explain what to do with it before he was on the move again.

He needed to get back to his armies so he could pick out a few quick scouts so he could stop the threat which poured into Nara at the moment. The Frost Giant he had pinned down (and tortured) earlier, had told him the Frost Giants would take over Nara as long as the portal remained open. Loki needed to find that portal and close it before half Jotunheim would be on his doorstep.

If only he had once succeeded in destroying that wretched realm he wouldn’t be in this mess right now, but of course his brother had to intervene. “Well, where are you now, brother?” he asked nobody in particular, venom dripping from his voice. Then he laughed. Of course his brother wouldn’t come to his aid because Thor didn’t know Loki was still alive. And if Thor knew, he’d probably berate him for taking over the throne of Asgard and claiming two more realms and waging war. He sighed. As always he had to do this alone.

Loki ran past a window and fleetingly looked outside. He stopped abrupt in his tracks when his brain caught on to what he saw outside and he backtracked to the window. Not only were the soldiers of Nara fighting the Frost Giants, they were also fighting the Kha’os Alvish which attacked them from the other side. Loki felt the blood drain from his face and he turned to his own Kha’os Alvish, his pose warily. If the Kha’os Alvish on the outside had turned on him…

The creatures gave their master a look of confusion and quickly were on their guard as well. Calling on his seidr Loki summoned an iron chain and slowly started to guide the chain towards the creatures while using his seidr to grab their shackles.

Not understanding what was happening the Kha’os Alvish turned restless and tried to fight the magic but they forfeited that struggle when they spotted something behind Loki and started to growl.

Loki spun around just quick enough to see a icycle come down and he felt it make contact with his head. He lost control of the chain, shackles and his seidr, and his two Kha’os Alvish sped forward. For a moment Loki thought the creatures would attack him as well and he braced himself, but the skidded past him, attacking the Frost Giant. Quickly they killed it and regained their attention to Loki but didn’t do anything except eyeing him warily.

Loki shook his head to get rid of the fog that the blow had formed in his head and he skeptically looked at them. “I guess you’re on my side then,” he mumbled.

The creatures looked at each other and then back to Loki. One of them took a uncertain stepped forward while still on all fours. “Yesh. Whys you surprised? Masshter,” it said with a voice that sounded like blunt metal grinding on rocks, the lisp quite clear in its words. 

Loki raised an eyebrow. “You can talk?” he asked failing to hide his astonishment. “Of course you can talk,” he answered himself almost berating himself for his stupidity.

“Only iff needed,” the other Kha’os Alvish said and got up on its hind legs to take a look out of the window. “Traitorsh,” it said.

“So, your loyalty lies with me?” Loki said stern, but he felt the uncertainty in his voice as he involantairy got taken back to a memory containing Heimdall and almost the same question.

“Yesh,” both of them said in unison.

Loki pushed the memory back and hummed. He looked the creatures in the eyes. He never actively been aware that they could talk, but on some subconscious level he had known. Maybe it had also been a mix up of languages which happened to him without his knowing due to his all-speak ability. Loki shrugged at his thoughts. This wasn’t important at the moment. “Let's go,” he ordered and walked of, confident the Kha’os Alvish would follow him.

 

***

 

With his two Kha’os Alvish on his heels Loki reached the Narian soldiers who were taking a stand against the Frost Giants just behind the inner gate.

“Viros,” Loki said while he grabbed his captain and dragged him out of the fight. “Which of your soldiers are also scouts and are able to pull of a stealth mission?”

Confused from being dragged from the fight the captain eyed his king but quickly regained his composure. “Take Evalon, Aeda and Firah, they are the best scouts I have. The--”

“Take me to them. Now!” Loki interrupted him harshly.

“Right away, my King. Follow me,” and the captain led the way through the fight. Only once they got interrupted by a Frost Giant which tried to kill them, but Loki wasn’t in the mood and with sheer anger he took the giant down in mere seconds, piercing it multiple times with his daggers. He had been so quick, even his Kha’os Alvish hadn’t had time to react and they were on the move before they could fully register what had happened.

“FIRAH!” the captain called. A man looked up and untangled himself from the fight. “Where are Evalon and Aeda?” Viros asked.

“Up there, captain,” and Firah pointed to the castle wall on which two other men were putting up an impressive fight.

“Get them down, now,” Viros ordered Firah who nodded, turned and ran away, jumping, twisting and spinning to avoid enemies and reaching the wall. Once below the wall he quickly climbed up it, almost resembling a spider, finding holds where none were visible and yet being able to scurry up the wall in a matter of seconds.

Viros grinned. “Told you they were good,” he said to Loki, but Loki paid him no heed as he scanned the wall.

Firah reached his companions and took up the fight alongside them while briefing them. Suddenly multiple Frost Giants climbed over the rim of the wall and the three men were greatly outnumbered, their odds not in their favor. They had to twist and turn to avoid blows and quickly they were surrounded on all sides. 

“Go,” Loki said and he and Viros watched as his two Kha’os Alvish climbed the wall as well, maybe even quicker than the scouts had done, and joined the fray to help the men.

As soon as there was an opening Firah shouted a command and the three men jumped from the wall, their landing ending in a roll to catch their momentum. The two Kha’os Alvish were having a great time killing and shedding blood, but they too knew they were outnumbered and thus turned, jumped over the rim of the wall, and ran on all fours face first down the wall after the scouts.

Once down Loki quickly caught up to them for he had forseen what was happening right now; the scouts tried to fight the Kha’os Alvish not knowing these belonged to their King.

“Stop fighting, now!” Loki barked at all of them. They stopped fighting but still eyed each other warily and Loki knew this was only a stealmate and the fight was far from over.

“You two, come here,” he ordered his Kha’os Alvish which reluctantly heeded his command and took a stance beside him, not bothering to hide their scowls at the Narian scouts.

Only then did the scouts notice their King and the bowed while acknowledging him.

“I need you three to come with me to dispose of something, and I need it to be done in silence. And these two-” Loki pointed at his Kha’os Alvish, “- are coming with.”

The scouts started to protest, “but they are the enemy.”

“Yes, your army has turned on us and now we have to fight them as well.”

“You can’t expect us to trust them.”

“That’s enough!” Loki barked viciously. “They were the ones who came to your aid on the wall just moments ago. They have claimed their loyalty to me and therefore I will not tolerate any more words on the matter nor will I tolerate your insubordinance.” The anger that had been coursing through Loki’s veins all night took on a dangerous form. Not only was he under attack, wasn’t he sure his Queen was safe and was he being battered by his own feelings towards her; his command got doubted as well at a very important moment and feelings of self-doubt washed over him. Loki hated his self-doubt for it was inherently tangled with feelings of anger and hate, and he had to muster all self-control to push all the feelings back and not strike at the scouts.

The scouts gave the Kha’os Alvish a sour look but couldn’t ignore the command of their King, and he gave a court bow, “as you command, my King.”

“Now we won’t have any more time to waste,” and with that Loki turned on his heel and started to walk. There was one escape route that led out of the castle and would take him to the location of the portal. Loki hadn’t gotten the location from the Frost Giant he had caught, but he hadn’t needed that information, for he was pretty sure he knew exactly where the portal would be. He had been the one who had opened it in his dream after all.

 

When they were out of the castle they made sure to steer clear from the little village which belonged to the Kha’os Alvish and headed towards the forest. It didn’t take long for them to navigate their way and quickly stumbled upon the portal.

Cautiously they approached it, the scouts quickly surveying the area, but came back with nothing to report. There were no Frost Giants around and Loki stepped out into the clearing, walking towards the portal. Entranced by the portal Loki lost focus of his surroundings until he heard screams of distress. He spun on his heel and a silver staff with a glowing red gem was pointed at him, a Kha’os Alvish holding it. From the corner of his eyes Loki scanned his surroundings and saw that the Kha’os Alvish had brought Frost Giants as his escort, and Loki was greatly outnumbered. The Narian scouts were nowhere to be seen and he could see his Kha’os Alvish looking helplessly at him, not able to reach him and trying to stay away from the many enemies.

“Emperor!” The Kha’os Alvish sneered mockingly. “Finally I got you.” 

It was then that Loki recognized the Kha’os Alvish as the first victim of his hunt months ago. “You survived,” he said unimpressed.

“Yes, and you will not,” the Kha’os Alvish threatened.

Loki smirked. He knew he wasn’t going to get out of this, no matter what he would do because the odds weren’t in his favor. The least he could do was take the situation with some form of delight. “And now you’ll kill me?” he said mockingly.

Now the Kha’os Alvish smirked. “Not yet… You soon wish to be dead however.”

“You’re hardly the first one who says I will beg for death,” Loki scoffed while he thought back at the Other who had once threatened him.

“That does not surprise me. You have made a lot of enemies,” and with those words the gem on the staff started to glow and Loki could feel a heat radiating from it. He swallowed as the staff inched closer to his face. 

This wasn’t going to be pretty and he wasn’t going to get away. From the corner of his eye he saw his Kha’os Alvish pace nervously, not being able to do anything. Loki summoned his seidr and released the shackles from his Kha’os Alvish. “Keep her safe!” Loki managed to shout to them just before the gem on the staff made contact with his forehead. He felt his skin burning and he gritted his teeth. Then he felt the magical intrusion in his flesh and within seconds his blood was boiling in his veins, enwrapping him in agony. He felt his heart pounding inside his chest and a scream escaped his lips.

Then everything went dark.


	10. Frost and Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING, WARNING, WARNING! Sadly I have to spoil this chapter somewhat but a firm warning is in place for this one! If you can NOT bear to read about torment in any way for whatever reason, I seriously advice you to skip this chapter! There is absolutely no shame in that! This is also the reason why this chapter is longer than the others because I wanted to contain it in one chapter so it can be skipped. You have been warned! And one more thing, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry!

Loki opened his eyes and a pang of pain went through his skull. A grunt escaped his lips and he wanted to rub his face with his hands, but he could not. He felt cold metal around his wrists as his arms were pinned above his head, the chains attached to the wall.

He let out a sigh of annoyance. How stupid could his captivators have been? He was a God after all, and even though his strength couldn’t match to that of Thor, some meager chains would be no match for him. He gave the shackles a tug, fully assuming they would bulge, but the metal bit deep in the flesh of his wrists.

Loki raised an eyebrow and sighed while his irritation grew some more. If he couldn’t rip the chains of the wall, then there was always the second option.

Loki summoned his seidr so he could break the shackles but his magic wouldn’t come to him. A confused look washed over his face as he tried to use his Seidr again, but to no avail. It was only then he realised that he might be in some trouble. If he wasn’t able to get the aid of his Seidr, this wasn’t going to be pleasant stay.

Again he tried to tug at the chains while trying to call his Seidr, but no matter how hard he tried, the chains wouldn’t give and Loki grew frustrated. How many more times in his life did he need to end up in shackles and chains? Hadn’t it been enough? Hadn’t he suffered enough? Would this be the ever present circle of his life?

Loki’s frustration turned into anger. He felt that the anger of last night still hadn’t left his system and he bared his teeth. He pulled at the chains once again even though he knew it was to no avail and the metal viciously bit his wrists again.

_Weak..._

Loki scowled at the thought and kept pulling the chains while trying to use his Seidr.

_Still weak._

His anger turned into rage and burned hot in his veins.

_This is what happens if you act out of love._

Alexis’ face flashed in front of his eyes.

_This is what happens if you show sentiment._

Thor’s face flashed in front of his eyes.

 _In the end_ you _are the one who gets hurt, and nobody else._

Loki could feel how his rage crept toward the dark culprit he had been harboring and feeding for his entire life.

_When will you ever learn!_

The rage hit the culprit and tore it open wide, letting out everything that Loki had put there and he got battered with every feeling he had ever buried in there. He tried to coop with them as best as he could, but he didn’t know how and thus he ended up screaming and thrashing his chains. He could feel his Seidr burning in his veins, but it couldn’t get out, for something prevented that, and thus the magic ate away through his muscles, straining them and pulling them tout.

Suddenly a door opened and someone stepped into his vision. It took Loki a while before he stopped screaming and thrashing, and he had a hard time to find his focus again through his seething rage. When he was finally able to focus, and the red in front of his eyes had vanished, he was able to see the Kha’os Alvish standing before him, a wicked grin on his face.

Loki returned his grin with a feral, angry and ugly snarl, and pulled at his chains once more just for good measure.

“Not so strong without your magic, are you now?” the Kha’os Alvish laughed at him.

It took a few moments before the name of this one sprang to Loki’s mind again. Rak’ash! And it was only now that Loki had a chance to have a good look at him. Rak’ash missed multiple teeth and his left cheek had a nasty scar in the form of a circle. A longer scar ran from his forehead down to his cheek on the same side and Loki saw multiple scars on his arms and even a missing finger on his right hand.

Rak’ash noticed Loki looking at him and grabbed Loki by the jaw, nails digging in his flesh and Rak’ash leveled himself with him. “Those are your doing albeit it indirectly,” he snarled and Loki could feel the hot breath on his face, and the smell of blood and death.

Loki grinned wickedly. “As you deserved,” he said sassy and he felt the nails dig deeper into his flesh.

“My scars will be minor compared to yours when I’m done with you, Trickster!” and he violently shoved Loki’s head back, his claws raking flesh and drawing blood. Loki only laughed, almost like a madman. What would this creature do to him? He already had the worst when he had fallen into the hands of the Titan. Surely this creature wouldn’t know what to do to a God like him, how to hurt him.

Rak’ash must have caught on to Loki’s line of thinking as a wicked smile spread across his face and he produced the staff he had used to burn Loki only hours ago. “I wouldn’t be so arrogant if I were you,” Rak’ash sneered and pointed to staff towards Loki’s face once more, the heat radiating from the gem. “Yesterday was painful and quick. This time will be slow and pure agony.”

Loki felt a little bit of dread creep into his heart for he had not forgotten what the gem had done to him yesterday. “What do you want?”

Rak’ash laughed. “I just want my sweet revenge. The Frost Giants however...”

Rak’ash didn’t finish his sentence on purpose and Loki felt the dread rooting more in his heart. It wasn’t the fact that he was a stranger to pain or even afraid of it, but dealing with the Frost Giants more than necessary, dealing with this dark page of his past and heritage, that wasn’t something he wanted to. He had tried to bury that particular part of his life as long as he could, but now they would force it upon him and he almost shuddered at the thought.

“Take him,” Rak’ash ordered as Loki had been lost in his thoughts and hadn’t noticed Rak’ash had walked away from him, opening his cell where two Frost Giants stood by the door.

Loki growled at the sight of them and Rak’ash turned sharply, staff in hand, advancing towards Loki. “Now, let’s not make a mess out of this… Yet” and he pushed the gem against Loki’s stomach.

Loki felt the magical intrusion again and it started to boil his blood and blister his skin once more. He screamed, not in pain but out of frustration and anger, but soon the magic enwrapped him and he couldn’t control his slamming heart any longer.

Darkness engulfed him once more.

 

***

 

Loki screamed as agony coursed through his body, paralyzing him and rendering him unable to control his convulting body. Slowly he felt the pain deprive and he gulped in gasps of much needed air.

For the past hours a Frost Giant and Rak’ash had been torturing him. They had chained his hands, feet and neck to a table upon which he lay, their metal riddled with the same magic that kept blocking his Seidr.

Loki hadn't thought anyone would ever be able to inflict the same agony upon him as the mad Titan once had, but he had to admit, they didn’t stray far behind.

The worst part was the fact that he wasn't able to control his shiftings as the Frost Giant touched him, and thus his eyes were red and his skin blue, making him very vulnerable against fire and such sorts. And his tormentors were well aware of that and using it to their full advantage. His shirt was slick with blood, his hair matted, and burn marks and oozing wounds covered his skin.

He had tried to fight his Jotun form, but it had been to no avail, and fighting it kept draining his energy so much that in the end he just had forfeited his attempts.

The gem on the staff pressing against his temple, burning his skin once more, made him loose grip on his track of thoughts, and a searing pain crept from the side of his head to his jaw, along his windpipe and double tracked to the major artery in his neck. Once the heat got it grip on his Jotun blood in the vein, he felt as if thunder marched his way through his arteries, striking his heart as the fire rapidly shot through his blood.

Loki screamed and he tasted blood in his mouth, his throat raw and unable to breathe.

“Where is it,” the Frost Giant asked him again.

Loki said nothing as he spat the blood from his mouth at the Giants feet.

The Frost Giant looked unimpressed from the spittle at his feet to Loki and he grabbed Loki by the throat, sealing of his airway. “Lost princeling, we've been at this for hours and we can keep this up for hours more. The question is however, can you?” The Frost Giant released Loki, and for what must have been the hundredth time in the past hours, Loki gasped for breath.

Loki panted heavily. “I. Can. Try,” he managed between rasps. If he could stall their torment for mere minutes, his body would be able to heal itself somewhat, but apparently they knew about his ability to regenerate and thus they had kept the pressure on wounding him, not granting a moment of reprieve.

The staff hovered close to Loki's face, the gem glowing furiously and he tried to recoil but the shackles around his neck prevented him from moving his head. A little bit of dread crept into his heart and he braced himself for the anguish that would come.

“You can prevent this,” Rak’ash cooed. “Just tell us what we want to know.”

“I don't know where it is,” Loki said, his heart pounding.

“You and I both know that is a lie, Lost Princeling,” the Frost Giant interjected.

“Is it?” Loki asked as he eyed the staff warily. “Had I known wh- aaaah,” Loki’s sentence broke as the gem touch his forehead, wrapping him in a burning sensation.

“God of Lies and Silvertongue is what they call you. We've seen you use the Casket of Ancient Winters as you tore open the portal between the realms. Stop your lying and we might cease your torment, maybe even grant you the sweet salvation of death,” the Frost Giant threatened and made a gesture to Rak’ash who pulled the staff back a little bit, breaking contact with Loki and stopping its painful assault.

A dry and painful laugh escaped Loki’s lips. “I don't even know how I opened that portal, let alone where I put the Casket after you trying to scorch my brain for hours,” Loki venomously bit back. Not an entire lie. He indeed didn't know how he had opened the portal, and if they would keep up this torment he was sure he would forget where he had left the Casket, albeit it for a couple of hours.

“STOP PLAYING!” the Frost Giant bellowed as he plunged an icicle in Loki's stomach, making him gasp. The Giant placed his face close to Loki's and Loki could feel it's hot breath and then smell of blood as he spoke. “Lost Princeling, if your body cannot be broken, we will move on to your mind and see what we can pull from there.” Slowly he retracted the icicle and Rak’ash wasted no time to put the staff near the fresh wound.

“You already have a challenge with breaking my body,” Loki said between biting his lip to keep a grip on the pain in his stomach. “Pray tell me, how do you ever think you can conquer my mind with your meager grip of the universe and its workings?” His answer had been very bold and costed him immediately as the staff made contact with his wound, but the look of astonishment on the Frost Giants face had been worth the pain.

The giant took a step back and composed himself, a malicious grin spreading across his face. “Creating heat and fire isn't the only thing the staff can do,” rang his ominous words. “My friend, if you'd be so kind to indulge us all.”

Rak'ash retrieved the staff and fiddled with the gem placed on top off it, closing his eyes as he did and muttering words that were lost to Loki's ears. A red light engulfed the gem and silver light wrapped around the staff. Soon both colors touched and started to mingle. The red light crept down from the gem to the staff as the silver light crept towards the gem. When Rak'ash stopped muttering, the light dimmed and the red stone had turned silver, supported on a red staff that moments ago had been silver.

Loki had looked in fascination and when the shift had occurred he had been sure he had felt a shift in the magic in his shackles as well. Even in this dire situation Loki was intrigued by the object and its imaginable possibilities.

Rak’ash put the staff close to Loki’s face again. “Last chance,” he said casually.

Loki wasn't planning on telling them where he had put the Casket of Ancient Winters, and he was actually very curious what the staff would be able to do now, and thus he only looked at Rak'ash deadpanned, a shine of amusement and a taunt in his eyes, challenging the Kha’os Alvish.

Rak'ash shrugged and let the staff make contact with the shackle around Loki's neck. Immediately it became hot, and within mere moments the shackles around his wrists and ankles followed suit, their heat building rapidly.

The latter wasn't something Loki had expected and he screamed in pain, trashing the chains which only fed to his pain.

Magic leaked from the metal and started to creep around him, creating a darkness at the edges of his eyes. Still the heat rose and Loki could smell his own skin burning. He forced himself to stop rattling his chains for it only intensified his anguish, and as he tried to gain control, he briefly caught a glimpse of the metal around his wrist. This time he felt fear lodge into his heart as the iron was colored white from the intense heat.

The darkness at the corner of his eyes started to creep in rapidly and soon filled his entire vision.

Then the pain stopped.

 

***

 

Loki saw Alexis in his mind's eye. She smiled at him and said something, but he couldn’t hear the words as they tumbled into the darkness surrounding him. He tried to talk to her, but his words didn’t make sound, also lost in the darkness, and Loki sighed.

She smiled at him. Not one of sadness, or fake, like she had done so often, but a genuine smile filled with warmth and mirth.

Loki swallowed. He didn’t know how to respond to that. He had locked his heart away on purpose and he didn’t want this. Especially not now, not when-- _Not when you are being tortured and she might be a possible weakness?_ Loki’s expression dropped at the thought and he let his head hang.

Currently he had no idea how he would escape his martyrs, and he figured he just had to hang on until an opportunity would arise or a plan would form in his mind. _Maybe you should just forfeit. Why do you think you are worthy? Of anything? Of her!_

Loki’s had snapped up at the vicious thought. He looked at Alexis and he felt utterly and completely lost at that moment. _Just give in, live on your knees and all will be over._ Loki bit his lip and mused on the words.

No! He wasn’t weak. He wasn’t going to give up, no matter what! He would fight till the end, even if it was the last thing he would do. Because he’d rather die standing on his feet than to live on his knees! He wasn’t a weak mortal, and he would never act like one! _It would be easier however…_ Loki pushed the thoughts back.

He looked at Alexis, and this time he smiled back at her. His smile also genuine although it lacked the warmth and mirth she had shown him.

Suddenly a Kha’os Alvish appeared next to her and frost crept around Alexis’ feet. She looked around, fear in her eyes while she felt the threat. “Loki,” she mouthed, her eyes pleading. He wanted to reach out to her, grab her, run to her, but he couldn’t move and he heard a metallic sound as he trashed unseen restrains.

A blue hand covered Alexis’ mouth, grabbing her from behind. She trashed at her assailant but the Frost Giant was to strong.

_Let them have her._

Loki went frantic, trashing his unseen restrains more vehemently then before as Alexis got dragged away, a silver light glowing around her. Then she vanished into the darkness, leaving Loki alone.

_She will be your downf--_

No, no, NO! Loki felt his heart break, something he hadn’t felt since-- He pushed the thought of his mother away. His breath came in quick short gasps and anger took over.

Just when he wanted to scream he heard a voice.

“Death is the easy way out.”

 

***

 

Loki hung in his chains in his cell, head down, sweat mixed with blood dripping on his legs.

They had intruded his mind, Loki had felt it, and they had tried to wreak havoc.

Loki had felt how something had pulled at his thoughts, trying to enter his memories, but they hadn't gotten anything more after the weird illusion with Alexis. Loki had been so enraged that they had hit a wall of so much hate, the power of the gem hadn't been able to penetrante it.

When they couldn’t get passed his mind they had reversed the gem back to red and had tortured him physically again, after which Rak’ash had reversed it back to silver and had rampaged through his mind once more.

They had kept switching the gem for some more hours, but Loki’s lips had been sealed, not giving them what they wanted to know. Eventually someone, he didn't know who, had entered the room and had brought a message which Loki hadn't heard because he had been delirious.

After the messenger had gone, they had freed him from the table and dragged him back to his cell. Loki had tried to put up a fight but every move he had made hurted in ten places at once, and thus he had forfeited his attempts for that moment and had let them put him in his cell.

After that it had taken him an hour before he could shift back to his Aesir form again, and it had taken him hours more to heal enough to be able to move without agonizing pain biting through his body.

His clothing was drenched in blood and sweat and clung to his skin. He wasn't sure what they had done, but he couldn't cool down for something was keeping the heat trapped in his body.

Someone opened his cell door but Loki lacked the interest to see who it was. The person talked to him but he didn't register the words, nor was he interested. He couldn't care less who or whom had entered his cell or what they would do to him. He needed time to let his mind wander and process what had happened if he wanted to form a plan to escape this situation. And thus he tuned out, turning his mind inward and blocking the world outside, drifting on the currents of his thoughts.

The person nudged Loki with its feet, even grabbed his jaw to make him look at the person but Loki didn't see the face for everything in front of his eyes was a hazy blur, his eyes moving rapidly as he followed his track of thoughts.

The person let go of his jaw after which Loki's head limply fell down and a soft darkness swirled in front of his eyes. He felt a tug at the back of his mind. Something was calling him. Something that needed exploration for it was hurting him in some way. Loki edged closer to the call and carefully reached out. He probed at it and focused his attention so that he could see it from multiple directions at once.

Yes, this was it! He had found--

Suddenly he felt his heart stop and kickstart itself violently, cramping his muscles and making his blood run cold. Loki was brutally pulled from his mind back to reality as he felt icy water dripping from his hair down to his spine. Just as he opened his eyes a second wave of ice cold water hit him and he sputtered and coughed as water entered his mouth.

His body had been holding on to so much heat that the icy water had shocked him back to reality, the shock enraging him and he pulled his chains as he wanted to attack his assailant.

“Ah, what a pleasure. You're awake again,” Rak'ash said sarcastic.

Two Frost Giants walked to Loki and unchained him from the wall and cuffed him with some others. Without control Loki shifted to his Jotun form as they grabbed him by the arms and hoisted him up on his feet. For a moment he tried to call to his Seidr, but he needn’t have tried for his magic was blocked by the chains.

His hair and clothing still dripping with water and blood, Loki tried to stand as tall and proud as he could while Rak’ash hovered the staff in front of his face again. “Don’t think about making any rush moves,” he said threateningly.

Loki answered his threat with a sharp toothed grin and a defiance in his eyes, but said nothing.

They led him through hallways and past chambers, all the while Loki tried to pay as much attention to his surroundings as he could, trying to map the place in his head and looking for ways out. Sometimes he stopped walking, trying to shrug his captivators off, but it was only a display from his side as he stalled for time so he could examine certain points of the place a little bit longer.

Eventually they stood in front of the doors he had entered earlier when they had tortured him, and anger mixed with dread took a hold of him. He dug his heels in and tried to shrug of the Frost Giants but to no avail.

Rak’ash laughed malicious as he saw Loki’s reaction. “You can prevent this if you’d just tell us what we want to know,” he soothingly said.

Loki scoffed. “I’d rather take my changes with what is behind that door instead of giving you want you want to know,” he boldly said while meeting Rak’ash’ eyes.

This time Rak’ash laughed like a madman. “You will break eventually,” and with that he pushed open the doors. Loki’s breath caught in his throat and his heart dropped in his stomach at the sight of Alexis lying chained on the table where he had lain earlier.

 

***

 

“Loki...” Alexis said softly as Loki came into her view while he was being pushed to his knees. He could see the hurt in her eyes as she looked upon him and he tried to look away. Suddenly he was very aware of his blue skin and the blood on his clothing that must have complimented his fiery red eyes.

“What have they done to you?” she whispered unaudiable and Loki tried to swallow the lump away that was forming in his throat. _How had they found her? He had send her away through the portal, that place should have been safe!_

“How?” he whispered to no-one particular but Rak’ash answered him.

“You told us where she was. Or better said, you showed us,” he said while he snickered as he saw Loki’s head snap up and the puzzled look on his face drop to one of pure disbelief.

Loki bit his lip, his sharp teeth digging in his flesh, drawing blood and he let out an angry grunt. “No!” He looked at Alexis.

“Don’t tell them anything” she said softly. His heart beated rapidly in his chest at the sight of her being in this predicament because of him. Apparently it showed on his face as a little smile tugged at the corner of her mouth and she spoke warmly to him. “It’s not your fault--”

 _Yes, it is!_ His mind berated him.

“--and I’m sorry I doubted you.”

Loki opened his mouth to answer, but he was cut of as the Frost Giant grabbed him by the throat, sealing off his airway. “Last chance to prevent her from getting hurt,” he spoke while pushing his face close to Loki’s. “Tell me what I want to know or there will be a lot more sentimental nonsense between the two of you when we are leaving this room.”

“IF you ever leave this room,” Rak’ash said emphasizing the first word.

The Frost Giant let go of Loki and he coughed. Carefully he looked at Alexis but her gaze was stern, her eyes telling him he shouldn’t give them what they wanted.

 _She's strong in ways you'd never even know_. Loki heard the words Thor had once spoken to him about Jane in his mind. Loki gritted his teeth and curtly gave her a small nod, confirming their unspoken words. They wouldn’t yield no matter what they would do to them.

“Neither of you is going to talk then? Neither of you is going to tell us where the Casket of Ancient Winters is?” Rak’ash sighed while laughing.

“I don’t deal with monsters,” Alexis said defying. Loki tried not to cringe at her words.

_Monster!_

Rak’ash shrugged and walked to Alexis, a malicious smile on his face. “As you wish,” he said while he made the red staff hover above Alexis.

Loki tried to shrug the hands of his shoulders that kept him on his knees, but they grabbed him tighter, locking him in place while pushing down.

_Sentiment!_

With a last look at Loki the Kha’os Alvish lowered the staff, making contact with Alexis.

_NO!_

Alexis’ screams filled the air and Loki squeezed his eyes shut.

 

***

 

Alexis felt the dried salt of her tears on her cheeks and she could not remember any other taste on her tongue than the taste of blood.

The Kha’os Avish and Frost Giant had been hurting her for some time. She had screamed, cried and even pleaded them to stop, but they hadn’t for Loki wouldn’t tell them what they wanted to know. With tears in her eyes she looked at him.

The first times the staff had touched her, Loki had tried to fight off the Frost Giants holding him, but they had punished him every single time for his attempts and eventually had given up on wasting his energy to break free. He hadn’t made a sound other than the occasional grunt of displeasure at Alexis’ screams during the entire ordeal, however he had closed his eyes a couple of times or had looked away.

Loki had promised to Alexis not to talk whatever they would do, but Alexis was willing to talk, even had talked, but she wasn’t able to tell her tormentors what they wanted to know, and thus they had not relented.

A painful sensation took hold of her body once again and she screamed. “Loki! Please, tell them!”

Loki’s jaw was set tight, and anger burned his red eyes, but he didn’t say anything, not willing to give these creatures what they wanted.

“This is not working, Pointy Ears,” the Frost Giant berated Rak’ash. “Maybe we should just kill her,” his raspy voice said while he looked at Loki.

Loki bared his teeth. This was the first reaction they had gotten out of him for some time and a sly smile milled around the Frost Giants lips.

“Lost Princeling,” the Frost Giant cooed as he took notice of Loki’s reaction. He created a crude blade made of ice in his hands and laid its sharp edge on Alexis throat. “Maybe we should just end this. We will get our answers, with or without her.” A small drop of blood formed on Alexis’ throat.

“Loki...” Alexis pleaded, the fear audible in her voice. “Please. Just tell them where the damn thing is!” But Loki spoke not.

“Tell me where the Casket of Ancient Winters is or I’ll slit her throat,” the Frost Giant threatened.

“Loki! PLEASE!” Alexis screamed as utter distress took over and the end of her life hovered in front of her eyes.

Loki looked at Alexis and they locked stares. Loki felt his heart break as he looked into her eyes, the fear and plea so raw he almost gave in. He quickly collected himself. “I do not care for her,” Loki said with no emotion in his voice as he saw a shock of horror wash over Alexis’ face. Loki was sure their captivators were only bluffing, they wouldn’t kill her! _Would they?_ “Take her life if you want, she means nothing to me,” his voice still cold as ice and completely emotionless.

Alexis’ eyes widened at his words, and it was written all over her face she was wounded by his words. Loki’s cold glare did not waver and his jaw was set firm.

“You _are_ a monster,” she whispered and looked away as tears streamed down her face. Loki briefly flinched at her words and had to muster all self-control to not show any form of emotion.

“As you wish,” the Frost Giant said and the bladed crossed Alexis’ throat.


	11. My Queen

Loki heard a low-pitched noise and it took him a moment to realize it was his own uncontrollable screaming.

At that moment other sounds filled the air and almost brought the world crashing down around him as the door burst open and multiple persons entered the room. The Frost Giants which held him into place let go of him, taken by surprise at the unexpected intrusion and Loki flung himself toward Alexis, blood pouring from her throat and soaking her clothes and the table.

For a moment he doubted to touch her with his blue hands but if he did nothing, she would surely die. He pushed his hands on the wound and called for his Seidr to heal her, but to no avail as his hands were still bound in chains. All he could do was apply enough pressure to the wound to stem the bleeding without trying to seal of her airway. He sighed in relief as his touch didn’t give her a frostbite. That was one thing less to worry about.

Alexis grabbed his hand and with a bewildered look Loki looked her in the eye. “No, no, no,” he muttered in distress. “Don’t-” He couldn’t get the words past the lump in his throat and he frantically looked around.

Suddenly someone was next to him, trying to grab his wrist and Loki screamed at the assailant. A red haze started to form in front of his eyes and he was vaguely aware that someone was saying his name over and over again.

While still trying to keep pressure on the wound he also tried to fend off his attacker by trying to get a solid kick to connect and using his elbows to shield the attacker away from his Queen.

Suddenly he felt a stinging pain to his cheek. “LOKI!” He was momentarily baffled at the weird assault from his attacker and something in the back of his mind forced him to pay attention. “It is me!” another stinging pain to his other cheek finally brought him to his senses as he looked in familiar eyes. “Let me help you!”

His brain didn’t fully register the person trying to help him yet, but he was aware that this person _was_ trying to help him and thus he stopped resisting.

He felt the shackles fall from his wrists and as the magic of the iron bounds fell away, his Seidr came rushing back to him with an unstoppable force. It had been building up in his veins for the Norns know how long, and now it burned his veins begging to be released.

Loki didn’t fight it for he knew all too well what to do with this power and let every ounce of it pour through his hands to heal the slit on Alexis’ throat. Green light erupted from his fingers, covering her throat and quickly spreading across her body, swallowing her whole. Only when the burning sensation finally left him was he able to reign in his magic and he let out a sigh he didn’t knew he had been helding.

Suddenly the world started to swirl before his eyes and Loki slumped to the floor breathing heavily. The familiar face kneeled beside him and looked him in the eye searching for a sign that he was relatively fine considering the circumstances.

The world kept swirling but Loki was sure of one thing; Alexis was going to be fine. He couldn’t remember ever releasing this much, and such powerful magic at once, but he was sure his magic had healed Alexis.

Deprived Loki wanted to give in to the swirling world around him but his body wasn’t done fighting for it had placed itself in a pure survival mode. His instincts told him to keep on fighting but in the back of his mind he knew that someone had come to their aid and that he and Alexis were safe now. He could stop fighting.

_For now!_

The sheer force with which he had released his magic finally caught up with him, as did the pain of his battered and bruised body and the world swayed some more.

He felt two arms wrap around him and someone whispered something in his ear. The voice and touch were familiar and Loki gave in the the swirling darkness that hovered around him.

Just before he let his consciousness slip he remembered who the familiar eyes and voice was and he remembered her name.

_Rakel_.

 

***

 

Loki opened his eyes, a jab of pain went through his skull and he quickly closed them again as he moaned. His mind was still foggy and he tried to get the memories of the events that had happened back. The last thing he remembered was a soothing voice. And those eyes…

With a jolt Loki sat up, his eyes wide open while the memories flooded back to him, his sleepy haze gone from his brain. Frantically he looked around, his body instantly in survival mode again but when he saw the familiarity of his own chambers, his vigilance resided.

It was only now he felt the soft, cool sheets under his fingers and he looked at them. He grunted in dismail for his skin was still blue and he called forth his Seidr to turn back to his Aesir form.

When he looked up Rakel was in front of his bed, a warm smile on her face. She inclined her head, “my King.”

Loki moaned as his headache tried to crush his skull and he fell back on his bed, arms splayed out next to him. He closed his eyes and with his index finger and thumb he pinched the bridge of his nose. “What happened?” he moaned and put his arm over his head to shield of the light.

Rakel spoke softly but clearly. “Well... The Frost Giants tried to take over the realm. The Kha’os Alvish turned on us and joined the Frost Giants. We fought them and won but with tremendous loss. You were kidnaped and shortly after Queen Alexis as well. Your Kha’os Alvish and the scouts came to warn us and after that we went looking for you. It took us some time, but we found tracks, found your whereabouts and came to your rescue.”

Her waterfall of words took some time to process and triggered more questions. “Where is Alexis and how is she faring? Who is we? Where are my Kha’os Alvish? What is the state of the other Kha’os Alvish? Is the portal closed? How-”

Rakel cut him off, “that are a lot of questions and I can not answer them all, nor do I think that is appropriate.”

Loki lifted his arm and opened one eye to look at her, the eyebrow raised. Normally he would berate someone for interrupting him, especially if it was a maid, but he simply did not have the energy nor the guts to put up a fight thus he simply sighed. “Answer the ones you _can_ answer,” he commanded, making sure to put enough dominance in his voice so she wouldn’t defy him again. He might be feeling horrible, he was still King. Her King! And he wouldn’t allow it for her to speak so boldly to him.

Rakel swallowed. “With ‘we’ I meant Captain Viros, the scouts Avalon, Aeda and Firah, and your Kha’os Alvish. Speaking of which...” Rakel walked to the door and opened it to let the two pets into the room which curled up on either side of his bed on the floor as if nothing had happened. “As for your other questions, my King, I’m not the one to tell you but I’m sure Captain Viros is eager to meet with you to discuss matters.”

Loki looked at her, some form of admiration in his eyes at her political correctness. He nodded slowly. “And Alexis?” he asked carefully.

Rakel swallowed. “She is fine. You saved her life and actually healed her every cut and bruise.”

“But?” Loki inquired sensing she was keeping something from him.

“She has ordered she does not want to see you or talk to you.” Rakel bit her lip. “I’m not sure what has transpired but she is very hurt and very cross with you and-”

“ENOUGH!” Loki interrupted her and immediately regretted his outburst as the jabs in his skull got worse. At his bedside his two Kha’os Alvish perked up at the sudden tension that lingered in the air, ready to kill whatever might hurt their master.

Loki fixed Rakel with a ferm glare, who flustered, whilst trying to battle through his headache. “Arrange for some food,” he said coldly and Rakel took a curt bow and turned to leave to do as she was bidden. “Rakel,” Loki said with a voice that had dropped even colder than he had spoken with before, and she froze, her back still to him. “Next time you speak that blatant and without care, I will have you flogged. Just praise yourself lucky for my current state.”

Rakel crinched at his words and the mere thought of it alone. “Yes, my King,” and scurried to the door but Loki wasn’t finished. “One more thing,” he said, his voice suddenly a lot warmer and even wavering. Rakel’s eyebrows knitted but she didn’t turn.

“Thank you,” Loki said humble, hardly able to get the words past his lips.

A little smile formed on the lips of Rakel. “You’re welcome,” she whispered and quickly left the room.

When she left the room Loki let himself fall back on the bed, his arm shielding his eyes once more. It wasn’t often he thanked someone. Why should he? He was a King after all! But at this moment it had felt at it’s place because Rakel had risked her life to save them. And on top of that had she stood up against him when he had treated her as his enemy when he was trying to help Alexis, even though his physical and mental state did excuse him somewhat for his actions.

Loki still wasn’t sure if they had come for him, Alexis or the both of them, but he was surely grateful. He just might have a hard time admitting it.

“You know…” Loki said uncertain addressing his pets.

“Dooonnt-t-t,” one of his Kha’os Alvish hissed and Loki smiled.

 

***

 

The portal had closed itself after they had abducted Loki, and after that the army had defeated the Frost Giants and the Kha’os Alvish but not without great loss indeed. Rak’ash and the Frost Giant that had tortured Loki had been caught and locked up in a prison, awaiting their interrogation and their judgement. The staff had been retrieved as well and was currently in Loki’s hands, who sat on his throne while listening to Captain Viros who recited everything that had transpired, while fiddling with the item.

“My King,” Viros said, “the Kha’os Alvish who survived are also locked in the prison, awaiting their judgement.”

At that Loki’s pet perked up, curious about what would happen to their tratiours brethren. It had been thanks to the Captain that Loki’s pets hadn’t been locked up after their return with their unconscious King and shaken Queen. It had not mattered to Loki’s Kha’os Alvish whether they’d been free at that moment or not, but they both had to admit it had been better to roam the castle freely instead of getting locked up with their revengeful kin. Not that they would have hesitated to kill their brethren in any case.

Captain Viros shifted a little nervous at the movements of the Kha’os Alvish. Loki hadn’t bothered to put new shackles on them after he had destroyed the last ones to release them, and, if they wanted, they could attack the Captain any moment. Not that they would nor would Loki allow it but they took it as a sign that their master had been grateful for their aiding actions.

Loki seemed to consider the Captains words. “Get the prisoners ready for transport,” he ordered. “Except the Frost Giant and-”

“The other bastard,” Viros spat.

A little smile formed on Loki’s lips and he nodded.

“What are you going to do with them?” Viros asked curiously.

Loki wasn’t sure which he meant, his tormentors, or the other prisoners? Not that he was obliged to account his actions to the Captain, but he felt like indulging the man. “The Kha’os Alvish will all be transported back to their realm where they can fight among themselves,” Loki said while tapping his lip.

For now he was done with the race of…

_Monsters!_ Loki sighed at his thoughts.

He still was their emperor, but he was sure that if he wasn’t around, someone else would follow in his footsteps quickly and he wasn’t bothered by the thought. If he wanted, some day, he would go back to the alien planet and conquer it anew. For the time being he was content with being King of Asgard and Nara.

“As for the Frost Giant and the… ‘bastard’ as you call him… Let’s see if we can make _them_ talk,” a vicious grin spread across his face.

Viros bowed, “as you wish, my King,” and he walked out of the throne room leaving Loki and his Queen alone.

Loki looked at Alexis who hadn’t spoken during the entire conversation. Actually, she hadn’t spoken to him since their return, and he had only seen her when duty demanded it, otherwise she would shun his presence.

Alexis got up to leave as well, her movements brisk. Feelings of guilt and pain overwhelmed him and he bit his lip.

She stopped in front of the door, her shoulders slumped, and she turned. “You have judged over the faith of all of the prisoners, except two,” she said while eyeing his pets.

Loki was shocked she spoke to him after the long silence they had shared. A little bit of hope fluttered in his chest while her piercing eyes demanded an answer from him. “They are to remain with me for they have pledged their allegiance to me,” he said curtly.

“Great. Now I have to live with those whose faces remind me of my torment,” she spat venomously.

Her words couldn’t have hurt Loki more, for it were not only the faces of his pets, but his as well. He had brought this down upon them, he was the only one to blame. Had he done a better job at protecting her, had he not fallen in love with her…

_I do not love her!_

Loki squeezed his eyes shut covering his face with his hand.

Alexis wouldn’t wait for an answer any longer, his silence saying enough. She harrumphed and left the room without looking back.

He didn’t care then, so why would he care now?

 

***

 

Loki paced through his chambers, his thoughts reeling.

He had sent the Kha’os Alvish back to their realm and the people of the realm had not waited a single moment to tear down the place where they had once lived. His pets didn’t seem to have any problem at all with what happened to their kin, they actually seemed please, and were contently laying next to his bed, ever vigilant.

As for Rak’ash and the Frost Giant, Loki had had them interrogated, hoping his executioner would get the necessary information out of them on how they had invaded Nara, but the executioner had failed and thus Loki had done it himself.

It had been a horrible thing to do. Usually he hadn’t shyed from such affairs, even enjoyed it, but so soon after he had been the subject of pure agony himself, and with the memories of the Titan raked up in front of his mind way more than he liked, he had felt disgusted with himself.

In the end he had done what had needed to be done, pushing every feeling of dismay in his dark culprit, but just like him they had not relented and inflicting physical pain upon them hadn’t made them utter a single word.

But Loki was a master of magic, and the staff proved very useful indeed, for he was able to steer and manipulate its abilities, making its use far greater than Rak’as had ever dared to believe was possible.

Loki had rummaged through his mind, tearing it apart to get his answers, and in the end leaving the Kha’os Alvish broken beyond repair, a whimpering mess at his feet. Loki would not show mercy of course, and had sentenced the Kha’os Alvish to live with his insanity until his end of days, withering away in a prison cell forever.

The answers he had gotten were disturbing though. Apparently some of Rak’ash brethren had found him on the night of the hunt. They had tried to kill him, but Rak’ash had talked them out of it, saying he knew things they didn’t and could kill Loki and make this realm theirs, and thus they had let him live.

Rak’ash had gone to the sacred lake of Nara where he had found the staff and obtained it. Who had told him of this object wasn’t clear, for the Kha’os Alvish had received a vision in his time in the dungeons and he simple acted upon it, not knowing it would be true or not.

After he had obtained the staff he had drunk from the lake, giving him the magic which didn’t come naturally to his kind, and enabling him to use the staff and it’s gem. From there on he had just invaded Loki’s dreams for some nights, eventually able to steer and control them to a point where Loki had torn open the portal.

Rak’ash had also managed to contact the Frost Giants of Jotunheim, manipulating them and using them for his cause to bring chaos down upon the realm of Nara. The Frost Giants had been happy to oblige after hearing they had a change to get revenge on the Prince who had almost destroyed their realm so many years ago.

After Loki had broken Rak’ash he had moved on to the Frost Giant, rampaging through his mind, but he could not break the primal mind that harbored within the monster, and thus Loki had forfeited his attempts, not deigning it important.

Loki had ordered him to be burned alive, a very merciful act considering he could have kept the Giant in the dungeons and have him tortured until his end of days. But Loki truly did not wish to have a Frost Giant in his realm that was able to call forth the monster inside him and thus he had chosen to kill him.

_One Monster is enough!_

Loki shook his head to get the thought out of his mind. However, before the Frost Giant had blewn out his last breath, he had spoken, the words stabbing at Loki’s heart. It was not as much that the words had filled him with pain or dread, but the emotions came close to it, not aware he still cared. Yet he did, and every time he almost heard the Frost Giants voice in his head, he felt his skin prickling, the little pinches reaching up to abrade his heart.

‘ _Asgard will fall, Lost Princeling._ ’

 

***

 

Still pacing his chambers Loki couldn’t take it any longer. The silence between him and his Queen had been a bigger torment than what had physically been inflicted upon him, and thus he opened the door that let to her room.

She was asleep and Loki lingered by the door, doubting whether he should go to her or not. He sighed. He had come here for a purpose and thus he would follow through with it.

Carefully he sat up on the bed next to her and looked at her sleeping form. Her silver hair looked beautiful the way it was spread out over the pillow, her breath coming peacefully.

How could he deny any longer that he was not attracted to this woman? She had been warm and kind, showing a lot of care and a tremendous amount of patience with him. But even more so, she had stood up to him. She had defied him, called him out on his stupid whims, even if it meant he would threaten or hurt her, and even though she had been afraid of him, she wouldn’t yield.

Loki knew he had to go to Asgard, even if it was only to check up on the realm and make sure everything was fine... Or burning. It was all the same to him. Yet he would miss his Queen and almost wished he could take her with him. But somebody had to govern the Realm, and she would suit that job very well.

Loki’s musings had put him in such a reverie he hadn’t noticed he was cherishing her arm and that she had awoken because of his touch. She reached up and lovingly wiped away one single tear that ran over his cheek.

Shock washed over his face as he realised what was happening and he tried to leave but she grabbed him by the arm and pulled him towards her. Loki resisted a little not to fall on the bed but standing at its side.

With a puzzled look, he questioningly looked her in the eye, not sure why she would want him to stay. “Why?” he managed between ragged breaths.

She smiled. “Because I know you seek me out for a reason. Because I know you are hurt. Hurt by what has been done to you, what they have done to me… what _I_ have done to you, shunning you and blaming you for the last couple of days.”

Her words were like a hot knife but oddly enough he could also feel they mended a little broken piece of his heart, which he hadn’t been aware of that it was broken. “But it has been my fault,” he reluctantly said, his gaze dropping low.

She snorted. “Please,” she said sarcastically. “It was hardly the first time an enemy force tried to conquer this realm,” and she gave him a stern look.

A little smile formed on Loki’s lips. “I am aware of that. But the Frost Giants were after me, and you got caught in the middle. I never wished for that to happen.” He looked at her from the corner of his eye, not sure how she would react but she only smiled at him.

“I know,” she said and pulled him on the bed so he was sitting next to her again. “But don’t forget, I’m a Queen for a reason. And even though I’m very mad, and even sad, I can handle a thing or two.” She laid her finger on his cheek and made him look at her. “If I can handle you, I can handle...” she gestured to nothing in particular, her hand twisting around in the air and not able to find the right words.

Before she even could find the right words, and before Loki was well aware of his action, his lips were touching hers.

After the both of them had recovered from the initial shock, their kiss grew hungrily and filled them both with desire. Their conversation forgotten, locked away to discuss another time.

She pulled him closer to her, fiddling with his garments to take it off. Loki broke their heated kiss and smiled mischievous at her. For a moment his green magic enwrapped him and after that his clothing was gone. As was hers, Alexis noted. She snickered and hungrily pulled him closer to her, their kisses intensifying.

Both of them struggled to get on top, but eventually Loki proved stronger, pinning her to the bed, with one hand keeping hers above her head, the other roaming her body while he nibbled her neck.

“In the end you will always kneel,” he whispered in her ear, but this time his words weren’t malicious, as they had often been, but just warm and playful.

“I will not,” she breathed as his fingers stroked the most sensitive part of her body, making her moan.

Loki let out a humm that sounded like he was pleased by her answer.

“I think you currently are in no position to object me,” he said teasingly while he made her moan again.

It was only now, while lying underneath the God, fully at his mercy, but loving every moment of it, that she understood what had drawn Loki to her.

He never wanted submission because he was way more attracted the rebellion she showed.

 

***

 

After what had been hours of intense love making, Loki stood up, called forth his Seidr to get himself dressed and opened the door to his room. He turned and looked at her, a little sadness in his eyes.

“Where are you going?” Alexis asked him, a sad look washing over her face.

“I- I have to go,” the pain of leaving her clear in his voice. “Nara is yours again,” and he looked at the floor.

“You are leaving?” she asked shocked.

A whirlwind of emotions rippled over Loki’s face and he nodded slowly.

“Don’t-” Alexis almost choked on the words she wanted to speak and couldn’t get them out.

Loki turned his back to her, not wanting her to see his face, not wanting her to see the tears that stung his eyes. Did she just said she didn’t want him to go? That she wanted him to stay? After all he had done, after all he had put her through...

“Can you ever forgive me?” he asked while his back was still to her.

She was silent for a moment, a hundred answers and a thousand questions running through her mind.

Loki used his Seidr and a blue hue filled the room. He looked at the Tesseract in his hand, sadness in his eyes. “Can you?” he asked uncertain.

“I…” his Queen stuttered. “I don’t think I can.” She almost barely spoke the words out loud, feeling defeated by her own feelings, but the whisper had been loud enough for Loki to hear.

Her words stung him but Loki also understood them. It would take a lot of time before she would come to terms with what had happened, and the same applied to him.

Loki nodded and fidgeted with the Tesseract. A portal opened in the chamber, an image of a realm filled with gold lying behind it. Loki said something in a guttural voice and his Kha’os Alvish bounded up from their spots in his room and leaped through the portal to the golden city that lay beyond.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, tears streaming down her face.

Loki softly spoke his answer before he stepped through the portal and was gone, his words still lingering in her mind.

“ _So am I._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, at this point this fic nearly broke me after what I have put Loki through and as announced in chapter 9, I decided to wrap it up for now. I have some ideas for this story in the future so it might not be the end, but for now I need to give Loki, and me, some rest. Thank you all for bearing with me!


End file.
